xhelloximxdeadx

the excitingness of my life
2003-12-21 02:54:34 (UTC)

life sux

"im hoping to wake up one day and find out my life has just
been one big nightmare"


i hate my life i seriuosly wake up hoping ill day that
day. im missing something in life. theres a part of it im
not getting. i just hate it. i really cant stand life
anymore. my life was made for someone stronger than me.
ive broken twice and im about to break again i can feel
it. what the hell am i missing? ive always hated my life
and i dont know why. its not that i hate myself its not
that i was hated. ive always had good friends a good
socail life was never home on the weekends i have a family
family......ive been deprived of my real family they gave
me up i never had a say in that was too little too. but if
i did have a say i would have begged my mom not to give me
away. i hate my parents....they wont accept that im
differant wont accept that im not catholic hell they didnt
raise me they worked 7 days a week from early morning to
late at night up to when i was 13 years old. i didnt have a
ny chance to get to know them. i had already molded my
self into who i was they cant change me at 13. im my own
person and thats ok. i dont give a fuck what they say. no
one gets the provlems i have in school arent from the lack
of studying. i just struggle alot cuz i dont get the
material i study and fail. i dont know what the fuck to
do. im so depressed i hate waking up and haveing to worry
about 10 million things every day. im SO stressed out all
the time someone just give me a break. i want my life
back. the life i gave to myself that no one else helped me
get IM A SURVIVOR and im not ashamed to say it. im not
ashamed of my life beacuse its mine. no one knows the
things i had to go through when i was little. no one knows
how unhappy i really am. funny how my personality doesnt
show that. sorry the mask is staying on its not coming off
it will hurt too much. im at the point to where i dont
GIVE A FUCK. so just stay off my case i need your bull
shit right now. i dont know what the fuck to do i just
want to go to bed pull the covers over my head and never
wake up. i wish....




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