lyssa's Diary!
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2003-12-20 05:36:29 (UTC)

life is goin down hill

well today was OK, i guess.. until i talked to my so called
friend that is talken to AJ. she finally admitted that she
talks to him and doesnt plan on stoppen. i dont know she
has hurt me so bad i cant even describe. i just didnt know
that 2 ppl that were my friends and close and meant sumthin
could steep so low. its just amazing what ppl can be these
days. they are so wound up in thier lives that they dont
even see the hurt in others. i try to be happy and live a
good life, but really im just so hurt and depressed. i
loved AJ, infact i still do. i cared for my "friend"in
Arizona and tried to help her and give her advice. nuthin
was ever good enough. i tried maken her see how i felt and
i thought she would relate sense her ex. was the same way.
i dont want ppl feeling sorry for me, or thinking im
guilting them, i just wish someone would understand me and
give me the respect i beleive i deserve! there is no reason
ne more. just a month ago me and AJ were together and bout
2-3 weeks ago he was telling me how much he loved me and
missed me. i dont get how ppl can change so fast. not even
a week ago my friend was telling me she was gonna purpose
to her ex. she did he said Yes, now that shes talken to AJ
she stopped everything and broke up with her ex. ne ways i
have to go... im so upset and so pissed off and dont even
know how to handle this again. last year i had the worse
christmas break. i think im on the verge of another
wonderful holiday :/. ne ways i hope things work out for
AJ, and maybe my friend in Arizona. maybe one day they will
actully sit back and think "how did alyssa feel about this?"
it could be ne one else, and it wouldnt bother me that
much. but her, she was like an older sister, i asked for
advice talked to her, and related ... feels like a sister
did this to me.. how are u supposed to forgive a sister?
this is so dramatic ahh. like a freaken Jerry Springer
kinna shit. ne ways reply with ur opinions... thanks!

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