DiNaH says...
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2003-12-17 03:05:39 (UTC)


monday night
tapika bar & resto, katipunan

hanging out with acel and elmer, an officemate, was a dose
i needed to at least forget the problem i left in cavite --
even if acel made me wait again! well, she's my friend, i
don't tolerate her shortcomings, but i've already accepted
the fact that she's what she is. we've been friends for
seven years. together with wina, jenny and laarni, they've
helped me get through when my world almost collided and my
future almost shattered. am so thankful i have such great
girl friends who understand me, accept me, and guide me all
these years -- come what may.

that is why, these pretty, smart and witty friends of mine
are very important to me... and i mean very important!

when we love someone, we don't easily give up on this
person even if our love can never be reciprocated. yes, it
was wriiten in the Bible: True love doesn't ask of anything
in return, doesn't brag... blah, blah, blah...

love... it also sucks -- especially when you're falling for
someone you're not suppose to fall in love with. this so-
called love emerged in our conversation that night -- when
acel was already drunk, and tapika was about to close.
elmer had his share... and although we're not really close,
i gave him some pieces of advice i've gathered up from
concerned friends when i was dealing with heartache, too.

when you love, you do anything, everything -- just to prove
how genuine your love is. but when your love is taken for
granted, when you know how deserving you are for the love
you've been wanting to receive, but still you end up empty-
handed, is it all worth it? true love waits they say. even
so, love conquers all. but for whom? why do some people are
lucky enough to find the love of their life, and some
people would just sit around, waiting for their turn on the
wheel... until they get noticed, even it takes forever.

how could you fall in love with someone who doesn't love
you, or if does, refers not to show love instead, or
decides to forget love, or just stay miserable for being
secretly in love with the person whose not in love with
you? how could you call it love anyway when it's not

you do everything for love without expecting anything in
return -- it suits to patners, but when love is only one
way, that is...
oh, LORD! please enlighten me...
i can't think well, i can't feel well...

it's hard to let go of love... and what's ironic about it
is that there is nothing to hold on, but still, we can't
let go

you have no right, but you have all the reasons
acel said... it's when you're in love with someone whose in
love with someone else, and you get jealous... you get
mad... and furios seeing them together. you have no right
simply because you're not included in his life, but you
have all the reasons 'cause even if you have no right to
love a person, you cannot, i repeat, CANNOT just ignore
stupid cupid's arrow when it aims you. it's not easy as 1-2-
3. it takes a lot of courage, and tears before you escape
from the 'mess'.

i wish i could express what i feel, 'cause it's the only
way to set myself free. but right now, i don't think it's
right to 'cause i know... i just know...

i wish i could say it out load, but i can't...

and so... i have to keep myself in tact, and remember the
things all my friends have told me. i've been in this
situation before, i know i'd be able to get out just like
in the past.

i've learned so much already 'cause my past was one heck
of a strict teacher who didn't stop teaching me 'til i
learned how to accept the verdict of life.

am just wondering... why is this happening? what's the
reason behind this shit? why am i here? why?