just a normal life
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2003-12-15 07:07:25 (UTC)

blue ducky on my hand!

::sigh:: Well, honestly i'm in surprisingly good spirits
for everything thats been happening. I guess thats a good

But anywayz... I've been trying to help Robert feel better
aobut the whol Julianne thing. Poor kiddo. Thats tough cuz
he really did like her ... and she liked him too... but
julianne's just a confusing person... I don't blame her
though i end up running from relationships too.

And poor Mandy... Erik just broke up with her. But I'm
glad he just finally did it cuz he's been acting like a
jerk to her for the past couple weeks... he's kinda been
acting like a jerk to eveyrone really... but gosh she's
just got so much righ tnow to deal with. And this whole
Christina thing, I know its just really hard for her so
hopefully... things will get better soon! I just hope she
can see the good in all this. But mandy is a really strong
person so I have faith that she will get through this soon!

And Paulo's leaving in 8 days... I can't even imagine life
without him. Brazil! Why do u take my paulo away from me!
lol no really thought... i honestly have never lost anyone
close to me in my life.. and i know that i'm blessed for
this... but in a week... one of my best friends... someone
who i see every day... i may never see again in my life.
I don't know what i'm going to do. I do'nt know what any
of us are going to do. Things are going to be so
different! I love that kid. He was ALWAYS there for me...
and when we were at parties and everything and it seemed
like noone else even noticed i was there or cared to talk
to me... paulo would always be the one to make talk to me
and he always made me feel special and made me feel
like... someone to someone. lol. ya know? And we just had
good talks about things. He's an amazing person... and
we've had so many great memories! and i love how he says
things! like... half bak-ed! he's so adorably cute with
his brazilian accent! I'm not sure why he was placed in
our lives... but i think he made an impact on all of us
and now we all are going to have to stick to gether to
make it through this when he leaves... but paulo... who
does paulo have then? Gosh I didn't even think of that
before i was being so selfish thinking about how much i
was going to miss him!

I mean true, he's going back to his home, but he hasn't
been there in 3 years and he's made this his home and us
his friends and now he's got to go back and make new
friends again... i'm sure a lot has changed since he's
been gone and so I just pray that he will be okay and that
things will go reallywell for him when he gets back! Oh
man... i just don't know

whew here the tears come... i'll never see him in the
halls anymore and hewon't be here to say.... sam when are
u going to make me some oatmeals! or tell me that i'm a
bad sister cuz i never told him i had a twin. or tell me
that i have pretty eyes. and i won't be able to argue with
him about if erik loves julianne more or julianne loves
erik more! And i won't have someone to just hug and to
talk to and to make me feel special. And i won't have
paulo! how can this happen. This is a weird feeling. I
can't imagine now seeing him every day in the halls and
stopping and talking to him and

Oh man i still remember the day i met him when the guys
brought him to laura's house and we taught him to give
high-fives... and the time at the movies when he dropped
the soda and all you hear is ... splash... daamnit... in
the cutest brazilian accent! ah geez lol i remember it
used to be hard to understand what he was saying... he's
been with us through everything... i mean everyone has
changed so much... and he's been there through it all...
he's been part of this group of friends almost as long as
everyone else has... its gonna be hard to see him go

But at least we can all still talk to him online and even
on the phone sometimes... its just not going to be the
same! i don't know ... i guess i'm kind of scared... i
don't know whats going to happen... at all... God please
be there for him and with him through all this and please
let him have faith in You! please be with all us through
this too and all the other things me and my friends might
be struggling with! I know You have a plan and I trust in
You God! things will be okay!! I know they will!!

But i'm gonna go now so adios!

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