once again
2003-12-15 06:48:18 (UTC)

how many times must we go through this

1. Do not believe the boy, they are the enemy.
2. Do not get too close, prevent the hurt.
3. Do not get angry when they do opposite of what they said.
4. Do not fall for the boy, it will hurt.
5. Just because family loves him, doesn't mean you need to.
6. Keep far distance from his feelings, knowing them will
make situation worse.

Well I talked to Ace, he called me about 30 min after I
wrote the last entry. He was out with the team and then
went out to eat with the family I guess. That's what he
said and now he's at Tim's house fixing something for his
dad that he was supposed to do while he was out.

So I made those rules up above becuase I'm scared that I'm
getting to like him too much. He hasn't given me any
reason to hate him or disbelieve him or any thing of that
sort. But I"m scared that he's going to hurt me and use me
like everyone else and now I'm backing away from him. I
don't need that hurt nor can I take it. I don't think my
heart can do it anymore.

I know I'm probably being stupid and I should give him a
chance but I can't do it until he shows me he wants only
me. He probably has too but I don't feel it yet so this is
going to be rough. I don't know what else to do.

Last night he tried talking to me at 3 in the morning about
my feelings on us and I told him I was too tired to do that
while drivning in the snow on the highway. I feel like I
should've put my thoughts into it but at the time I didn't
think it was the time nor the place to do that. I think it
shouldbe face to face, when I"m fully awake too. I know
that the fact that he says he wants to see how this will go
and he wants to know what I feel should say more then
anything else but right now I see it was a line. It's
wrong on me I know but I don't know what else to do.

So I guess if he sticks with me through my crziness then
he's worth me being crazy over.