robertncheek

Finding Nirvana
2003-12-15 02:29:12 (UTC)

There is nothing I enjoy more in life then crazy, wild porno style sex.

That is a quote from my roommate Ron's away msg.
Somehow I think it applies to me as well. Only problem?
I'm not having wild, crazy, porn style sex. In fact, i'm
not having any sex. Why is this such a tragedy? I'll tell
ya.
The problem isn't that I can't. OK, shut up. yea I'm
not being full of myself, I'm just being honest. Not
necesarily porn star sex, but sex none-the-less.
So what's the problem? The problem is I hate the bar.
lol. a hard connection sure, but lemme tell you about my
week. So classes ended last Wed. Had a fun time that nite.
Thursday was my friend Bethany's b-day. Now, as I said, I
don't like going to the bar. But it was her birthday, and
since I like her so much *I'm actually so in love with
her ;)* I sucked it up, got dressed and went to
Monterrey's.
Well, what do ya know but I had a great time.
Moderation was the key of course, so i kept that under
wraps. After loosening up a little, I enjoyed myself. I
danced with my great friends, I had a few drinks, and just
hung out. In fact, I'll probably be going back next
semester.
So to the point, I had a great time at the bar. Hung
out with a very cool girl. Afterward, we hung out all
nite. We drove around for a while and just had a great
conversation. Then, we just hung out for the rest of the
nite. I had such a great time.
So, you ask, whats the problem? The problem is that I
respect her. How is this a problem? Well, any other girl
on any other nite I might have pushed the situation too
far. But, I couldn't. I wanted to... O God, I wanted to.
Ok, that sounded odd, but I did. She couldn't understand,
I'd never even had a chance with a girl like her before. I
was nervous and trying to be a gentlemen in a weird
combonation that ended badly. But, it was weird. I know
that she thought it was weird. She couldn't understand.
She probably still wouldn't. But, I hope she had a good
time. I had a great time.
I haven't been able to talk to her. It's been a rough
couple of days and I dunno what i would have said anyway.
I kinda just wish I could talk to her. We're friends and I
just dont want things to be weird. I always had a great
time hanging out with her. I hope this hasn't ruined that.
And who knows, maybe its not as bad as I think?
Ehhh....too much. My brain is fried andI have finals tom.
Gotta study.
More later....




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