Cath

my so called life
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2003-12-14 16:05:04 (UTC)

Déja vu

This semester is almost over! I have only one exam left,
and I'm going home in only five days! My exams have gone
surprisingly well.. I was really dreading the physics
exam, it's such a difficult subject and I've never quite
gotten the hang of it. Last year 94% of the student failed
(!), so luckily we've had a new professor this year. He
gave us some old exams that we should work on before the
exam, and I did most of them.. and we got almost the exact
same excersises! so I was really lucky!

Anyway, not so much has been going on lately.. My
flatmate's boyfriend (fiancee actually!) is visiting her,
so I don't see so much of her. We cleaned the fridge and
the freezer today tho :D
Ben went home this morning.. He had his last exam
yesterday, and he starts working tomorrow. I'll see him
again in only five days, but oh my god, I've become so
dependent on him! I can't believe what a big part of my
life he is, how much he means to me, and how empty I feel
without him. I've got a really déja vu feeling.. from last
year.. he used to come visit me, we'd have a wonderful
time, and then he'd leave and everything would feel empty
and meaningless without him. Since we have only a single
bed (we don't live together, but we sleep together, either
at his or my place every night), it sometimes get a little
crowded :D I thought that I'd look at this six days
without him in a positive way; I'll get my bed all to my
self, and I'll be able to turn around as much as I'd like.
But I've realised something : sleeping alone is perhaps
better, but falling asleep and waking up alone is
definitively not better! I miss him already!
I know that I usually write in my diary when something's
wrong, so perhaps our relationship seems problematic to
you, but we're so great most of the time.. and no
relationship is perfect!
I've gotten so used to, and so fond of, having him around,
that the idea of not having him around is simply
unbearable.

And they say absence makes the heart grow fonder.. these
days will remind me a bit of last year and make me
appreciate the fact that I have him with me all the time
now even more.

I am indeed a lucky girl! :)


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