BeckyTheBest007

Full Throttle Mama
2003-12-14 05:52:27 (UTC)

Do you really need a title to read it? Just READ IT!

this week was okay i guess. on wednesday i went to medeival
times which rocked and i highly recommend everyone else to
go to it cuz it's a really good meal and fun but u need to
be w/ a lot of high school kids so there's lots of cheering
goin on ya know like a football game and such. once i got
back to school i had to go right back on the bus to go to
hartford for cheerleading and our jv and varsity boys won
and that was pretty sweet....but we won't mention the fact
that they are a class below us lol.

and then there was thursday....thursday was a very, very
scary day. i was completely fine until physics aside for a
few sniffles from gettin sick. and of course we always have
these idiotic disputes about the cushion chairs. well tom
suter was bein an ass about it and stealin my chair ten
minutes into class, which usually the chair fights stop by
then. well i was gettin so pissed off at him and we were
both tugging at the chair not lettin go. then bud banks
comes in and starts his "shut up becky!" and "sit down!". i
seriously will kicked this guy in his nuts by the end of
the year cuz he bothers me SO much. and then joe shane
starts in on the tuggin of the chair thing so that tom can
have the chair for himself. well i positioned my arm really
odd and tom started twisting the chair and it hurt my elbow
and i screamd "ow" and hit him and sat down pissed off for
him being childish.....yes i do realize i was bein childish
about this myself but this is how it goes in physics class
and these guys know i hate it....my dad says they do it cuz
they really like me.....could be true for joe but never for
bud. i probably wouldn't have such a problem with joe and
bud if it were the fact that i would have been in class w/
them for the past 4 years but we haven't so i don't feel
they have any right to make fun of me like the other guys
do. when emerson, phil, ian, brian, kevin, and gabe i can
always laugh at them as well and don't get so mad about it.
joe and bud should just go ahead and get married.

when i sat back down i was really pissed off cuz of tom and
i don't know why but i felt like crying, but i tried tellin
myself to not cry but the tears started rolling down my
face so i ran to the bathroom past 10 kids in the hallway
who wer laughin at me cuz i was crying. i was in the
bathroom crying for about 15 minutes and i couldn't stop.
and i didn't even know it at the time but i was
hyperventalating, my heart was racing, and i was taking
very short breaths which i couldn't slow down. so these two
girls came into the bathroom to ask me what was wrong and i
honestly didn't know what i was so upset about so they took
me to the office and i almost passed out walking down
there. once i got down there... they wanted me to go to the
doctor cuz i couldn't calm down and we called my mom and
tole me to go. once there they were kinda shitty....kinda
ignored me even though they didn't want me to be laying
down cuz i could pass out...but then u leave me alone for
20 minutes? that makes sense. i talked to the doc about
what was goin on in my life and i think it's my sister.

i found out on mon nite that my sis hasn't been takin her
meds and she's been having 2 sezieres a day and now she has
a huge bruise on her from one that she had in the tub the
other day for 30 min. when my mom told me about this, i got
really upset and i might have been hyperventalating then
too. i'm not sure. i don't know what to think of my sister
yes i'm mad at her, yes i love her, and yes i am worried
about her, but no there really isn't anything i can make
her take her medicine so that she'll stop makin her family
worry so much about her.

so the doc told me that basically i had an anxiety attack
and it was pretty much the cause from stress. so i need to
tone it down so. that nite i went to go ride my horse and
it made me feel so much better cuz i had such a good ride
and while i was having my attack earlier that day... all i
wanted to do was go see my horse.

when i came back to school the next day only two ppl
actually said anythin about what happened. chorny was
really worried which i understand and he was being nice to
me. but the other one was phil. it shocked me so much cuz i
never thought he would be so kind. like he asked me if i
was okay and how i was feeling and he apologized for
something he said the day before. he didn't rat on me once
on friday which made me so happy. ian did the same but he
doesn't rat on me everyday. if phil were actually nice to
me everyday or only rat on me every so often, o yeah and
cut his hair quite a bit i would totally i don't wanna say
it but be interested in him, although i already am
interested in so many other guys. but hey what can i do? he
won't stay that way for long. might as well enjoy it while
it lasts and thanks phil for being a sweet guy.

today i saw my horse again but that was cuz it's a saturday
and i ride on those days. i went to the barn at 9. did
chores til 10 15. rode til 12 15. then did more chores
until 4. and didn't leave until 4 30. i did so many chores
i don't think i'll ever do that many again... i did 3
stalls, almost all shavings but 3 stalls, i got hay, i got
shavings, and i swept the isle, and take care of the little
kids! that barn would kill me if i didn't love horses. i
had to work tonite as well which wasn't all that bad. but
yeah that's the jist of the week. o yeah and ami quit
cheerleading. yeah not too happy bout that either hun.

smell ya later,

the best




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