Confessions of a Confused Mind
2003-12-11 19:32:09 (UTC)

The Beginning

So, this is the beginning...

Anybody who knows me, those few who can say they truly do,
know that I am not one to open up publically. I never felt
comfortable letting everybody in on my life. So I am new
to this. It may take a few months before you see anything
worth seeing.

I'm actually in a pleasant mood today. The past few
months, it's been hard to cheer up. Been taking alot of
bullshit from the family. Parents just won't stay off my
back. Guess its just part of growing up. I've been taking
a fair amout of shit from my "friends". I use that
word "friends" lightly, because lately it's hard to tell
who really gives two shits about me and who doesn't. It
used to bother me alot. It still does to some degree. I'm
getting to the point, however, where I don't care. I hate
to turn my back to my friends, but I don't even think they
would notice, being their back is already turned to me.

I'm still in a pleasant mood though. I haven't been this
happy in a long time. Maybe it's the fact I got a new
job. I love that job. It's not stressful at all. The
people are awsome. I was afraid I wasn't going to fit in
there. As much as my old job sucked, I always had
salvation in the people who work there. My new coworkers
could never replace my old, but they are defiantly just as
cool. It could also be the special someone. I finally
bared my soul to her. Things are ok. It might just be the
medication starting to work. Who knows, who cares, I'm

I have a feeling this journal is going to get me in
trouble. I have a feeling alot of people who take the time
to read this, aren't going to like what they see. I don't
write this becuase I want to start shit, I write this with
the intention of fixing things. I only hope they
understand. I'm lost at sea...