BluGrl223

What's It All About?
2003-12-11 17:38:17 (UTC)

Been A Long Time...

Well, it's been a long time since I've written...
THINGS NEVER WORKED OUT BETWEEN ANDY AND I, AND THAT'S
FINE. He and I are better off as friends anyway. We chat on
the computer whenever we're both online, but I really
haven't seen him, not even when he's at work. MIKE AND I
HAVE BEEN DATING FOR A LITTLE WHILE. He called me up one
night when his parents were out of town to watch a movie,
and we ended up making out on his couch. I asked him why
everytime we get close (physically), he pushes me away. HE
SAID IT'S BECAUSE HE REGRETS THE FACT THAT WE SLEPT
TOGETHER. He doesn't regret the fact that he lost his
virginity with me. He's a religious person and feels that
what we did was against what the Bible says. I respect
that, and told him that I care about him very much and want
to be with him and if he doesn't want to have sex, that's
okay. BUT AT THE SAME TIME, I DO STILL WANT A PHYSICAL
RELATIONSHIP, AND I GUESS THAT'S WHERE JOHN COMES IN. Last
week, he and I were sitting alone on a couch in the Student
Lounge at school. Actually, he was sitting and I was kinda
laying on the couch with my head on his chest. He had one
of his arms around me, resting on my chest, and I just
pulled his head toward me and we kissed. It was amazing!
I'd forgotten what a great kisser he really is. He said he
wanted to "screw my brains out", but at the same time, he
still felt guilty that he cheated on his girlfriend with
me. We've gotten closer though. Whenever I reach for his
hand to hold it, he doesn't pull away, and he'll even
stroke my fingers with his. He'll even let me kiss him on
the cheek all the time, but that's as far as it's gone...so
far. JOE AND I ARE STILL TALKING, BUT HE KNOWS THAT'S ALL
IT WILL EVER BE. I was talking to him last week about the
whole situation with John, and he knew what I was talking
about and where I was coming from. I just didn't know what
to think about the whole situation. I JUST THINK IT'S FUNNY
THAT I'M UP TO MY EARS IN MEN! :)




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