once again
2003-12-11 08:34:14 (UTC)

it's the part I hate

See, and this is what I mean. Things were so good today I
talked to Ace and then he asked to come see me and I went
to the gym. Then he tells me about this girl that likes
him that called him and he was like no I'm watching a movie
tonight. I mean atleast he tells me she likes him.

He was a little late getting here but he borught me
chocolate and apples, the two things I wanted for days. I
felt weird about this whole thing but it's my insecurities
and I can't tell him. I don't know why becuase I think
he'd understand but I can't. But I feel so stupid keeping
this inside and not telling him.

I just hope I"m not getting screwed over again. I'm so
scared for myself and my heart. I hope this is something
real and not just a pretend nice guy wanting sex. I guess
we'll have to wait until I get my period and see what he

He invited me out on Friday night and I have to work until
around 9 or so. He's going into the city so I don't know
if I"ll be able to make it. I hope but I was like I gotta
work and saturday I work a double. He asked if I was
sstill off sunday and I am and he said ok..

I know I"m just parinoid but I can't stop it. I'm trying
though. Maybe these new meds will help. I don't know.