just a normal life
2003-12-11 03:11:08 (UTC)

we were only 15, I let him go like paper airplanes

Hey! So why does every entry have to be about Steve now?

I don't know. Maybe its cuz even when i really thought i
was over him... he does something that makes me just want
to go crawling back! and now i feel like I'm playing games
with him! but i don't want to play games with him! I just
wish things could be different! But they're not! And
there's no way anything good could come of me wishing or
acting like they were!

So for me, it was easier to just kinda not talk to him
much, which is an awful thing to do I guess I just... and
now when I talk to him or hear from him... I miss him

Whatever, I'm a loser! and i wish i could talk to him
right now but now I'm like so confused! I want to talk to
him! But I feel like I can't call him anymore! man this
sucks! Gosh, why does he have to confuse me so much too...
I mean I feel so much like I'm his "on the road girl" and
I don't know if thats true and I don't know if i want to
believe thats true or not! It make it a lot easier to blow
him off if I feel like he doesn't have real feelings for
me. But if he does then I don't want to hurt him by
blowing him off! And I don't want to blow him off! I wish
I could be with him... but for a while... I was doing sooo
well with not really thinking about him and not missing
him! And then he sent me text messages and still... I was
like whatever Steve, you're on tour now... I get thats why
you're trying to talk to me now... but then he just says
the cutest things sometimes and I'm like... why am i even
mad at him in the first place! i have no good reason to
be! I'm just being selfish and trying to make things
easier on myself but.... ::sigh:: okay this is getting me
nowhere tonight. I think I just need to talk to him... not
about anything in particular... but jsut talk to him ya
know? So maybe thats what I'll try n do! eee if i have the
guts to! haha Adios!

Ad: 0
Digital Ocean
Providing developers and businesses with a reliable, easy-to-use cloud computing platform of virtual servers (Droplets), object storage ( Spaces), and more.