Ad 2:
2003-12-11 00:52:46 (UTC)

The good, the bad, and the down right ugly...

I got a job that will pay well, that's good.
I have hardly any money and tons of expected expenses
(develop film; buy presents for christmas party;
hang cash; e.t.c... since I don't start work until 2
weeks or so, and who knows when I'll get paid then.)
Down right ugly, and I hate reminding myself of this, but
the guy that was doing the interview that is suppose to be
my manager buddy, was hitting on me hard core. And still
is. It's gross really, because he's highly infatuated, and
I'm extremely uncomfortable, he's 38. YUCK!!! Besides all
of that, he's a nice person...

Which brings me into an interesting topic, I'm so not into
relationships. I really hope no body comes on to me ever
again. Or atleast I'm ready to start dating. This will not
be soon. Maybe when I start Columbia. Knock on wood The
whole Brendon thing, and now this, oh god, could you please
just unperverterize all the men in the world, and make life
unsexual, not about sex at all. It really seems like that's
all there is. Sex, "love", lust, infatuation, playing
around, experamenting. In other words: sex, sex, sex. Not a
good time to be a virgin. THen again, when is a good time
to be one. Ugh... I'd just like to give up on it all.

I think I'm permenately gonna give up on TDC. It's just not
cutting it for me. I mean, I liked it. When we were doing
new things. When we were young and rebellius, and the world
was at our fingertips. Now we should really take a
vacation. Go into hybernation for the winter and maybe come
out rejuvanated and new, more adult. Blooming in spring. Or
just permenantely call it quits. Either way I don't care.
The main reason why I hang is if I'm having a bad day and I
want to make it better by getting side tracked, or I can't
stay being home. It is an excuse. I guess the guys don't
realize that. I'm still gonna hang with them on Sunday with
Steph. Except Chris is working so he won't be able to do
it. Oh well. Chris can be a pussy some times.

We hung yesterday and our relationship suddenly evolved
into a hate friendship, I hate those. Especially since I
can't really think of quick come backs and I get voilent to
get the last word, so to speak. Chris said I wasn't even
doing that right, it kinda made me mad, cause...ugh... I
just decided I don't want it. The little tour thing of
Chicago, I don't think that's gonna work out either. Tim
said we should do the whole thing without him. It's really
not a bad idea. Chris is too much. He is exagerrative,
overally sensitive, un-open, very mature yet very
childlike. Basically, he's kinda fake. And I'm starting not
to like him. Tim is atleast human. He's not all too
interesting at times, but he's human.