Charles Deason

My Blue Sky
2003-12-10 16:12:59 (UTC)

Another promise to a good friend...

Its almost 10am. I'll push to be up two more hours,
and if possible even more. My body... hurts. It brings back
memories. Its been awhile since I've ever worked my body.
Not to say that I was ever fat. I've always had more of a
pot belly. I'm not giving up either. I must do it everyday
and be in top shape. No longer will Justin, my younger
brother consider himself.. stronger.
In the past, I was always taller, stronger, and in
almost everyway more pysicaly fit than him. He surpassed me
oneday however. He got taller and stronger than me.... Much
more stronger. BUT! His heart is still the same as it
always was. My heart compared to his is supernaturally
stronger. I understand what true love is. He stil has a
cold heart. But hes still a good person. To be honest he
would be my best friend if not a brother to me.
Which reminds me. Not too long ago Erika and I made
each other a promise... Something thats really rare for me.
First, I asked her that she never kill herself no matter
what basicaly. She agreed to that. Then she asked ME to
make a promise to her. She asked that I never forget her,
and if I ever get depressed, to come talk to her. I
promised that I would. Shes a great friend. I still don't
like her having sex all the time, but there isn't anything
I can do about it.
Praying is usually what I do when I'm in a tight spot.
I'm not going to think about it anymore. It hurts for some
reason. Maybe its because I'm still a virgin. I won't be
forever. I'm being really careful with it too. Maybe its
just that I take sex seriously. Like...it should only be
with special people. Not just anyone. And not with two
special people or more... just one. I must sound kind of
lame comming from a guy whose almost 18 and jacks off
almost everyday of his life!!! But oh well. I'm waiting
thats all... I'm holding out until I'm truly ready.
Besides,I don't have enough confidence in myself when it
comes to other people. lol Crap... I can't get my mind off
Astrid. I miss her in everyway!! Um, I guess I should go...
I will be back again.


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