Ad 2:
2003-12-09 04:54:59 (UTC)

My only company...

Another day winds down as the minutes slowly tick away,
teasing me with exhaustion and inviting pillows. However
loneliness too, like the minutes of the passing hand, is
taunting me. Loneliness...the word itself is haunting. The
heart, I've come to learn, can only take so much ache until
it eventually breaks, and mine is closer to falling
completely apart now than ever before. Every morning sun
pastes a quick smile and sutile words that I'm expected to
drop, but as soon as our quick minutes have past, thanks to
prior engagements like studies or classes, I'm forced to the
ground with pain. I'm falling into a steady pattern of doing
this to myself everyday when I should be speaking from my
heart. 'LOVE' however keeps me from opening my smart mouth
in order to keep things simple for her.

If she only knew what goes on to give her what she wants.
This has crossed my mind on many occasions. To think of this
cause nothing less than tears and nothing more than hate for
my own cowardess. If she did know...what would happen?
Uncomfort may set in to our veins and fill our blood with
shallow laughs and studdered words. This of course would
lead to the cancellation of one of our bodies from a group
of friends, a family, that should never feel such pain
unless approached by death in the later days of life. In
order to keep a much stronger bond than any being could
break,I'd leave my friends, my "sister", in order to allow
such a great friendship to continue between them. I would
indeed sacriface comfort for seperation, love for pain, a
family for loneliness, so as for them to not feel the
slightest pain.

So here we are, brought back to the word that started such
a descussion of my torment and heartache. Loneliness. It all
comes back to that for one such as me. So alone sometimes
the mirror looking back disgusts me. Yet agian my "sister"
and the one she care's for have done nothing but help my
heart. They've lined it with good times and supportive words
like bandages on a major wound. I love them for it...

~Good Night

...I still miss you...
"But that would just bring the pain
Cause things can’t stay the same
These Holidays won’t be wonderful"

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