nin137

Nick's Journal
2003-12-09 00:47:08 (UTC)

And you think you're simplistic?

i am the most simplistic person i know, both mentally and
expectations wise. you see i have the uncanny ability to
actually believe that what happens in 30 minutes won't
affect me and that there is no need to prepare. you see i
NEVER make plans, something that drives juliann nuts, but
i don't mean it as an affront to you girl! it's just the
way i am, i never plan because i hate being tied down by
my future self. to me if you make a plan you have already
done your free spirit some harm. speaking of plans you
know who i hate? people that will plan something with
you, but for some reason or other always fucking have
something to do two hours into when you're hanging out
with them.
now you may be saying, "nick that's just cos they can't
stand your ass for more than 2 hours", fair enough, but
the thing is these certain people tell me right as we
start hanging out, "by the way i have to meet so and so by
9"....come the fuck on.
anyways, back to what i was talking about. yeah i can't
make plans, so i never expect anything. i don't expect
anything to happen, and the great thing about this
lifestyle is that i never get bored. i think it is
actually impossible for me to get bored, you see when i
sit around with nothing to do, i start thinking. and i
don't mean deep philosophical thinking of how to solve
shit, i'm talking about thinking like, "which letters are
used the most? it's got to be a vowel, but which one? my
bet is 'e'" that sorta thinking, and god damn it i am so
enthused by it. and yes i fantasize, your usual run of
the mill being chained down by a 300 lb dominatrix who
looks like the elephant man sorta stuff.
next, i don't expect to have stuff that i need. you see,
i noticed this when mike said it, he told me how he had
reached into his pocket one night and found 3 bucks he
hadn't known about and exclaimed, "hell yeah three
dollars!". now you see that's sorta how it is for me.
all i need is change in my pocket, because let's face it
there isn't anything i need more than 5 bucks for. i
haven't bought a "materialistic" thing in so fucking long,
and the only thing i ever really buy is food. and since i
never stock up on food, i just need about 5 bucks.
so that is really my simplistic life. i mean goals?
oppurtunies? foresight? shaddup. as far as i'm
concerned, if you can get your life going alright in the
most transient manner then you'll have no more trouble
than everyone that has it "all figured out".
anyways, it's time to do some exam studying. well i guess
i do plan to take exams......hmmmm.