blkdragon

grounded
2003-12-08 22:35:35 (UTC)

*Pretty*, Charles and Mystic River

After my son came and left yesterday, I was feeling very
shitty, angry and hurt and he seemed pleased and
indifferent. So I sat in my apartment feeling poorly and
out of the blue my friend "Pretty" IM's me, I'd been
missing her terribly and we'd been just passing each other
on the net, for days. We began chatting and I began to
feel better, not so hurt or angry, a feeling of love came
over me that had me grinning and smiling.
She told me what she'd been up to since we last touched
and I told her about my time without her, our touching was
pleasingly relaxing. By the way, Pretty, I can be very
stubborn and often immature. There are also times when I
don't speak to my sons, for fear of saying things that
I'll never be able to retract. It'll be a while before
Charles and I speak to each other, he has limited access
to a telephone and I'm not too crazy about speaking to him
right now.
My son's a user, whatever he can do to get what he wants
and I don't allow those kinds of people access to much of
my life, he is my son; but he needs to learn this lesson.
First of all, you don't use anyone for any reason and
secondly, you never use your family. So I'll keep my
distance and limit his access to me, for a time, when he
shows me that he understands the value of Family; I'll
show him that my love was always his.
He's with his Mother and she was most influential in his
being the way he is, now they can use each other until
they, either get on each other's nerves; or she gets tired
of him and puts him out. I don't have a revolving door
policy and he'll be contracturally bound to live with me,
he'll also need to keep a job and pay a percentage of the
rent, on time; with no excuses. Such a thing is a long way
off, if it ever happens at all.
I had a pleasant day on the job and something wonderfully
strange happened during my lunch. I recorded violin music
to a CD, Jean Luc-Ponty and was listening to it while I
ate and read "Mystic River", I'm almost finished with the
book and I came to a pivotal point in the story. One of
the major characters has just had a revelation and comes
to realize the severity of a mistake he's made, this
shakes him to his core and he confesses his sin to his
wife.
Here's what moved me! His wife knew where he'd gone to be
alone with his sorrow and grief, yet he'd never told her
about the place and it surprised him that she knew. She'd
sent a cop, his old friend to find him there and she'd
surmised his sin, based on her own experiences. When he
confessed his crime to her, she never flinched, she'd
already deduced his response; because she knew him better
than he ever thought she could.
She began to soothe his sorrow and pain, by getting as
close to him as she could and she would take him into her
for his comfort. She talked to him about his daughter and
their remaining daughters, before enfolding him in her
love and she told him that she informed their remaining
girls that they needed to be extra nice to their Father.
She told their daughters that he wasn't a Prince, but a
King and sometimes King's made mistakes in protecting
their loved ones and those mistakes didn't make him a bad
person, it merely showed the extent of his love for his
family and the people in his care.
I could feel the tears welling within me, from the violins
tearful stirrings on the stereo and the love of these two,
coming off the pages in waves. I had to turn the stereo
off and close the book, before the tears started flowing,
I had to return to work. This has never happened to me
before and it amazed me.
I wouldn't tell anyone not to see the movie, but all of
you readers out there know that movies never do justice to
a well written story. GET THIS BOOK, it's that good and I
don't normally read Murder Mysteries. A good writer lets
you into the minds and lives of his characters and Dennis
Lehane has done all this and more, to get this response
from me, you bet your ass!
I'm going to let you guys go, I really need to finish this
reading, only have 7 pages left; I'll be reading more of
this author's work. Hell, I might even buy them, heh heh!
Nuthin but Love.
Oh, before I go, Pretty; thanks for mentioning me in your
diary, LOVE U! If your Father can't get over his
immaturity, you'll need to be the mature one and forgive
his ignorance.*kisses*




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