blueswede

pearl harbor day

So it's Pearl Harbor Day, 62 years later. One of my uncles
is a Pearl Harbor survivor, so this day has significance for
my family. In recent years, I've observed by using the date
as a milestone, and looking at the state of the world and my
place within it.

As far as the world goes, I think we're probably much worse
off than last year. That said, I think there exists greater
potential for change now. People are looking closely at the
state of affairs, and realizing things aren't working out so
well as might have been hoped.

But enough political talk. I don't think there will ever be
a shortage of forums for debate, unless of course the whole
world goes completely insane. For now, I'd like to look at
where I've been since this time last year.

Last year at this time, I was in my first semester of study
here at college, and worrying about my grades like you would
not believe. I was obese and incompetent, and had almost no
confidence in my abilities, either academic or social.

Over the next few months, I lost a family member, spent most
of my free time at my job, entered therapy, and got royally
screwed up in the head over a girl. But then after managing
to get that resolved and get my shit together, I began doing
much better in my classes, quit being so self-abusive, made
my plans for the summer, and got a new, better job. I came
out on top in the end.

Over the summer, I exercised daily, began running, and also
started weight training. By the end of summer, I'd managed
to lose 40 pounds, my upper-body strength increased a great
deal, and I ran in my first race, beating several people who
were skinnier than me. I also obtained some new information
which helped me to stop feeling bad about the situation with
the aforementioned girl. So things were looking up.

As this semester progressed, I got better and better at CS,
eventually reaching a point of completing projects in under
eight hours of total working time. I also improved my upper
body strength further, though not nearly as much as over the
summer. My legs suffered a little with the onset of winter
weather, as I was no longer able to run in the evenings, but
I did stay in good enough shape to run a 10K in decent time.

However, my personal life seemed to decline, as my roommate
situation became worse and I realized that many people on my
hall were extremely unfriendly. I found a few bright spots,
of course, but for the most part things just weren't as much
fun as I'd hoped.

The most surprising thing was probably my continued lack of
success with women, which I eventually attributed mainly to
overconfidence on my part, brought on by the improvements in
my physical condition. I guess I figured I looked as great
as I felt. But I'm keeping my eyes open.

And now the term is drawing to a close. I'm anticipating a
sound grade in all of my classes, assuming everything works
out the way it has been. My social prospects have failed to
improve any, but I'm keeping my eyes open, and several of my
friends are also watching out for me. Plus I may be getting
a new roommate next term, depending on what happens with the
housing office, so things may soon change substantially. We
shall see, I suppose.

So that's the year in review since last Pearl Harbor Day. I
don't know what the future holds, aside from my classes and
employment for next term. But I think finding out ought to
be pretty damn interesting.

Of course, I could always find out that it'll be colossally
boring. But let's be optimistic for once.

This is Dave, signing off.