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2003-12-08 04:10:28 (UTC)

if i ever find the key you hide so well.

if i be so inclined to climb up beside you, would you tell
me that the time just isn't right?
and if I ever find the key you hide so well, will you tell
me that I can spend the night?

ugghh. not a good day.

i woke up late again which is pissing me off, why am i so
fucking tired. i have too much to do to sleep 8 hours in a

then he wants me to go to this parade with his mom. which
i like REALLY didnt want to do at all, crowds of people,
downtown, ugh... but he says we'll go shopping after so im
like fine. i get up, get dressed, and i should mention ive
been really feeling like shit lately. my hair needs dyed
its all sunny and im just steadily gaining weight and my
skin is dry but having problems and im not happy. but

so i drive over there. and walk around my car. and
someone had fucking smashed into my car. the whole side
smashed in and scratched clear down it. so im standing
there like. are you fucking serious. but at least i didnt
have to go to the fucking parade. i went home to call the
insurance people and so i'll try to get it fixed this week
or next week, i have no fucking money right now for this
shit and i just bought a 235 plane ticket to indiana, which
was really the best part about my day, im leaving at noon
on christmas and coming back on new years eve. but
anyway. unreal.

then i cleaned some. not all i wanted to do. but some.
watched about schmidt with my mom, which i love, but it
depresses me.

then we go to target to try to make more progress on
christmas shopping. now i love christmas shopping. but im
not finding anything i wanted and im doing the rest of it
by myself so help me god because he drives me up the
fucking wall and my mother just is on his side the whole
time and ive had enough of it. he was in a good mood which
is something special but he is so fucking irritating when
hes like that and i finally said in one aisle, PLEASE just
give me some SPACE. and so i hurt his feelings. and he got
all pissed off. and then i went off, and i was in this
aisle and this hot hot although butch girl was there
looking at stockings and he comes down and im like. nice.
and he had to bitch about that.

uggggghhhh. but i got something for claudia, ashley and
dawn. not the things i was planning on, but at least its
progress. and i really dont know what i can get her that i
can really give her because i dont know where she'll say
its from and all that bullshit.

im in such a terrible mood tonight. and she probably cant
go to the christmas party because shes scheduled to work.
i dont really care about it i guess i was just happy to
have plans with her.

and all the way home my moms talking about how the doctors
told her his hearts not going to last long and we're going
to come home and find him dead one day and im like. this
is just what i want to discuss right now. my dying father.
or we could talk about my fucked up car or my irritating
asshole or my decreasing attractiveness or my girl and her
whore she wont leave or i mean pick anything.

i have serious crab apples.

oh good. now he's online. so she cant get on and that
means im going to bed.

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