2003-12-07 07:07:06 (UTC)

you are a miracle, but that is not all.

she felt like an actress just reading her lines
when she finally said yes, it's really goodbye this time.
and it all fell so fast, and it all fell so far..

and she said, you are a miracle but that is not all
you are also a stiff drink and i am on call
you are a party and i am a school night
and i'm lookin for my door key, but you are my porch light..


i remember how much i loved this song back then. why didnt
i try harder.

i didnt get as much shopping done as i wanted today. i got
some stuf for me but i really didnt mean to!! the mall was
crazy and i was ready to kill people after 10 minutes. and
i saw raul, so i almost threw up. some day, when im far
away from this town, there will be no random reminders of
these parts of my past im not so proud of.

then i came home and we put up our tree and played reindeer
games and i got especially shitfaced.. went to see bad
santa, which was funny but kinda stupid, i have a feeling i
wouldnt have laughed at all if i wasnt drunk. then my mom
wanted to go to walmart at 1230 so we did that. and now im
dead tired. she called me back and i missed it cus my
phone was still on silent from the movie so that pissed me
off because i didnt really want to call her back this
late. blah. and ashley called too, cus she really wanted
me to come down there tonight but i just ran out of time
today, today went really quickly or something.

i guess i'll go to bed. i really hate going to bed alone
when its cold. even more than usual.

this melancholy that i carry makes me feel so grown up
at my kitchen table doing shots of resignation...