2003-12-05 00:41:49 (UTC)

up then down again

last night was a great night, and then today started out
great nad turned into shit!!!!i swear im like a chronic
depressant or something, ok im not that bad but i definetly
have my moments!!!! last night i got the nicest message
from the greatest guy in the world... and he made my night,
i swear i was sleeping with a huge grin on my face.. i
actually woke up smiling for once... and its not always
easy when ur in my life.. i know i dont have it that bad
but i just let some many things add up and then they all
attack me at once and that happened today.. i have 2
projects due one is already late and the other one i cant
even begin to start i have no idea how to do it and then
the whole issue with my car accident and getting a new car
and then insurance and then it kinda ties me down because
yes im in a relationship but its so hard because i live
with him and his family adores me but i think i may be in
love with someone else... i mean im being good about the
whole thing but this guy is just incrediable and i mean i
just want to up and go so i can be single and affailable
but there is something that wont let me go and i hate it...
i just hate making decisions... ive been with this guy for
8 years... i mean im so comforatable around him its crazy
but sometimes i think of this place as just a home where i
go sorda like when i was just going home and then going out
for the day is just going out for the day.. its become so
common to just come home here i almost forget about him
until it comes to the time when i know i have one and i
dont want to because id rather be with this other guy
because like ive said he is incrediable but i mean things
with my b/f are ok most the time and we have good moments
but we always have plenty of bad moments... sometimes way
to much and its very stressful and i dunno im ranting so im
shuting up now but another quote from who knows where
Quote: "when life gets hard, just sit in a corner with no
lights, but dont hit urself it hurts"