kyelene

pounding heart
2003-12-04 14:43:37 (UTC)

Like a child..

I'm feeling really nostalgic today. I'm missing the person
I use to be and the life I use to know. I keep remembering
how simple and wonderful everything used to be and I feel
like whacking myself hard on the head for not realizing
that then. But then, when does one ever.. sigh, people can
be really stupid. More accurately, I can be really stupid.

Recently I've made a lot of discoveries about myself.
About the person I thought I was, who I am now and who I'm
about to become. And it's scary I tell you.. I'm not
prepared for this. AT ALL! At times I can't help wondering
how much one can actually prepare for something so
uncertain and volatile as life itself. I feel like a child
learning to walk.. taking it a step at a time,
occasionally stumbling and falling, crying when I hurt
myself. and almost always clinging to dear life to
everything looking remotely solid around me. sometimes,
dragging them down with me when I fall.

and ever so often.. laughing with pure joy when I make it
to the other end.

and its for those laughs that we continue on, isn't it.
Those rare moments.

for now though, I just want to curl up in bed and have
someone stoke my hair and tell me that things are going to
be okay. Today, I feel like being a child again.

Please?




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