ftrestarr*

Insane in the Membrane
2003-12-04 06:23:21 (UTC)

Amyyyyy and Cassooooooo

BaBiiBluBo777: ok..it's a hard thing to not have someone at
all. For you it's pretty easy because u DO have 3 people
huu r mad crazii about you. But corny and cheesy and gay as
it is. It's like you're my ONLY friend in the world.
literally. To have youin the middle of this is stupid bcuz
when natalie and i fight every1 is on natalies side bcuz no
ne will b sided but that still half a side.. thats how she
is...and when erica is having a bad day every1 is there to
hug erica and make erica feel better about herself. No
matter what when I am crying, I cry harder becuz I dont
have ne one that will back me up. especially bcuz u just
said that your not sided. big deal.i dont really care about
that it's the fact that once again i dont have ne one to
rely on. bcuz u wanna know EVERYTHING and deal with
EVERYTHING. I dont know what im trying to get out. It WONT
FUCKING TYPE ITSELF.its a feeling. of aloneness and it
sucks. but that is just how it has to be. It feels like
once I finally found someone that will actually maybe work
out, it isnt bcuz you want everyone to b happy and that
leaves me with zip. Erica will always have someone. natalie
will always have someone. This is what im talking about. I
guess that there really isnt ne one that I can really be
dependent on. The only person you can really trust is
yourself. And that I have learned So many times. and no
matter how many times imgonna get screwed over, I will
always be there 4 myself. i will just keep my mouth shut
bcuz its not worth arguing or even debating bcuz no matter
what I am by myself on this and I cant do ne thing about
it. And this is too much to work so i guess i should just
surrender now. but thats what every1 wants me to do. It's
not gonna happenbcuz unlike them i have logic and imnot
stupid. They can say whetever they want. but they dont have
class. BUt they always have one up on me bcuz they have
someone. It's like in of mice and men pepople DIE from
lonliness..i guess thats my biggest fear that i will always
end up alone and then God just 4got to give someone to me
and thats y i have had to dealwith all this throughout my
life bcuz i take on the burden of 2 people instead of just
one bcuz I AM my own best friend
BaBiiBluBo777: and I have learned to accept that there is
only me
LuVmYbAbiXbLuEs: i dont knwo wat to say to that, cause u
knwo that i am here.....but at the same time,....ur right,
its hard to think that the only person that u can really
depend on is yourself, and i really havent had to go
through that...and i am so fortunate for that, and i wish
that i could say that i am always gonna be there, but the
truth of the matter is there is really no one for anyone,
which is y i bring this point out again...u will always
have 1 up on every1 of us, u r the strongest 1, u dont know
how to depend on other people, and i think that thats the
coolest thing that any1 could ever ask for...u care for
urself, and u care about other people, which is y wen u
said that erica and nat will always have 1 foot up on
u...well thats a lie, sure they r always gonna have some1
to rely on, unless god forbid something would ever happen
to any1 that they r most dependant on.....and they get by
with feeding off eachothers missery, and thats y they will
always have some1, cause they r EXACTLY alike....and that
is y they follow eachother on EVERYTHING...but they will
never have the 1 thing that u have, freedom to live by your
own standards, not any1 else's, u know how to take care of
urself.....and its devestating to hear that u feel like u
have no1.....its a terrable reality that u ahve to face,
and like i said be4 i am here, but i can only help u so
much...cause i am just a kid like u....i know nothing more
than any1 else.....and thats how life is always gonna be, u
have matured to a level beyond that......way beyond
that.....and that is y i KNOW that u r gonna have the most
wonderful life as u get older
BaBiiBluBo777: we're SO
SCREWED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




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