DayDream Believer
2003-12-03 10:07:33 (UTC)

Dangerusly in love

Im back from my holiday now. It was go great!... well most
of it, not the Tommy part.
We been living pretty close together because of my exams,
and now it was over and I left.. I had been hoping that he
would go crazy and miss me like hell, so I had a sign that
said that he loved me afther all. But I just didnt seem so.
I sent some messages saying I was all right and there at
once I got there. Then I dont remember everything verry
well, exept that I tryed to call him a few days later and
he didnt pick up. I got a message that he was with his
mothers place and didnt had much power at the phone. I said
I could call him that day or the next, just let me noe.
This was friday. I sent him some more messages didnt get
any answer, thats so Tommy, so I got upset, (thats so me)
and we kind of had a little fight on sms. Then I figurd it
was just to stupid, and "gave him my hand".
I dindt hear from him that day eather, that he wanted me to
call, but I think I got a message in the nigth to.
Then I called him on Sunday evning, I had a plan, call him
now, and dont do anything til he did it first.
The call was okey I guess, I dint hear from him the next
day, and the day afther that was yesterday, the day to
leave and go all the way home.

I got a message saying "good morning dear! have a nice
flight back to scandinavia" I answerd that one. When I got
home everyone was like, have you talked to Tommy, why dont
you take my phone and call him, and so on... witch only
made me more upset..
In the evning I got a message, he asked if I had a nice
flight back, I said it was fine. Then he told me about his
work and that he was going to bed now. I sent him two
messages afther that, exactly the same, "good night then"
but I didnt get one back.

Mybe this is just stupid things that I react upon, but we
talked in the phone only one time on a week. We was sooo
fine Sunday before I left, and also monday and tuesdat
I cant take this anymore, I love him so much, but I just
feel that I dont get that love back in return. Its not
gonna help to tell him, cause he knows it allready, Ive
been naging on it to much allready I guess.
I just now what to do. He breaks my hart all the time, I
love him, he says he loves me to, but I dont feel that.
Prehaps its something wrong with me??
Im so sad, I cant take this anymore, and I cant take a
break up eather, dunno what to do..

Mybe he`ll call today, dunno. But what shall I say. If I
let him now how I feel, then everything will become even
worse. I love him so much, so this really hurts for me. But
exept this, my holiday was perfect:-)