just a normal life
2003-12-03 02:47:48 (UTC)

tear down the walls


Alright soo... I know i've said this before... but i think
this time things are really like over with Steve. Not that
things really began, but ya know.

I mean its like now he won't even really talk to me! I
don't get it! I didn't want to hurt him and he said he
didn't want to hurt me and I thought that we would just be
friends! But I guess that maybe thats not good enough for
him. I don't know I still sorta feel like he was more
physically attracted to me than like actually liking my
personality... maybe thats not true... maybe thts just me
being paranoid cuz ... well... I dont know.

I mean sometimes its like... I know things might just be
easier if I didn't talk to him and he didn't talk to me...
cuz then I wouldn't be so hung up on him and ... like I'm
donig now since he's not talking to me... I can much
easier say... What was I thinking? He's just some guy... I
barely know him... he didn't mean that much to me anywayz.
I'll move on

But I guess I miss him. I miss the fact that when I was
having a bad day... he could make it better just by text
messaging me or calling me or something! anything!
Unless... he was being distant towards me and not the
person that I thought I knew... then it could make me
unhappy even on good days.

So I guess in the end... maybe its good that he's for
whatever reason not really talking to me anymore... and
maybe he does have a good reason. I don't know but I know
that I need to stop going back and forth on this depending
on how he's treating me. We're just friends from my point
of view... and if he wants to be that with me... thats
awesome! But if not, then there's not a whole lot I can do
about it except try not to be too upset and try not to
miss him too much.

Haha this is probly going to be hard to stick to if I ever
get to see him again... or if he goes to cornerstone...
haha yea I'll have to be held to this whole friendship
thing... woo alright no but really... if things were to
not change from here on out... and he did happen to go to
cornerstone.. things would not just change back in an
instant. I can't let myself be that stupid and vulnerable
lol. at least not again!

Pictures of you have now fallen with their frames from the
Shattered on the cold floor
I will use the broken glass to mark my wrists for every
time i've been alone
I've been alone
But I can see your life is now turning grey
Your petals are beginning to drop
you're wilting but so am I.


yea my friends are cool and Autopsy of a Collapse is a
great song! I'm so proud of them! Although I do not think
cutting ur wrists with the glass from a picture frame is
the way to go really... haha i still love the song! I
think I like past these walls better though... hmmm Well
anywayz! Thats it for now! Godbless!

Ad: 0