Ants

Good Feelings
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2003-12-02 04:21:00 (UTC)

A Dream and Someone Special

Ok, my first entry is going to be very straight-forward
and dives into my deepest emotions. I met this girl in
school this year. I have known of her for my four years
in high school, but I had never actually met her. This
girl's name is Stephanie. A while ago I realised that
when I looked into this girl's eyes, I was filled with the
greatest feelings of happiness and relief that i had ever
felt. Stephanie seemed to make all my problems disappear,
and when she talked to me, nothing else in the world
seemed to exist. It was just the two of us; she was
talking and i was listening. Well, those emotions carried
me through some pretty rought times, but those are not the
subject of this entry. Keep that in mind and listen to
this. Just recently, i went camping with my parents and
some close friends of theirs and, after a while, became my
close friends. Well, a friend showed up. Her name is
Kristal. This girl is a year older than me. She is
currently attending the college i am going to next year,
and we know each other to an extent. I talked to her a
while one night, publicly, about college and what i might
need, trivial things. I thought i could stare into her
eyes forever. She had the most soothing voice, which
relaxed me. Here is where the dream comes in and severly
messes with my head. Last night, i had a dream in which i
was on some kind of train. It was black and white, but i
could tell i was passing through some kind of tunnel. I
sat on a seat parallel with the sides of the train, and as
i looked towards the front of the train, i spotted
Krisal. She was sitting on the aisle seat just a couple
rows ahead of me on the left. I walked up to this girl as
if i had close, to a personal level, realtons with her for
a long time. I went up to her and she scooted over a seat
to let me sit. I sat down with her and she layed her head
on my shoulder. I felt like a child who put their head in
their mother's lap and felt everything else in the world
slip away into a void of unimportance. I gently placed my
head on top of hers and we talked. With my arm around her
shoulders, I embraced her and asked her questions relating
to her college experiences and she asked me questions of
my goals for the future. It didnt matter what we talked
about, but the simple fact that we were talking and
embracing gave me such a relaxed and light hearted rush.
We sat there just holding each other for what seemed to be
hours and hours. This was not a dream for me, no. This
was heaven and i didnt want to leave. Awaking from this
Eden, i realised that it was a dream, and as a result, i
did something i had not done in a long time. I cried and
mumbled that i didnt want to wake up, "I wanna go back", i
said to myself. I actually hated to return to reality.
In the battle of reality vs. imagnation, I succumbed to
being imagination's prisoner, and i felt dependent on it.

*End Entry*


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