An inconcluded life
2003-11-30 13:49:33 (UTC)

about definite decisions

How many times have I said I won't do this or that and
then I end up doing it? Many. Yeah, way too many I'd say.

Well, it's not going to be this way with him. It's just
over. Over for real. Until he does what I have asked him
to do.

I gave him the last ultimatum. Either we meet or we move
on. And he chose to move on. What can be so difficult in
his life? What happened? Why could he just say so many
things and promise so many beautiful words and then just
back off and say "I never meant it"?

So as simple as it may seem, he just said we can't meet in
the most definite way he has ever spoken. And yes, it
hurt me. It hurt me because deep inside I knew that would
be his answer, yet I still had that little bee sting of
hope that he would say yes.

It's been a week since the last time I heard his voice. I
sent him a care package for thanksgiving and he didn't
even send an email back to insult me. He's just gone.
And I miss him so bad!!! I can't help driving by his house
and look into the garage and see if his car's there. But
he has not been there this week... at least not before
11pm. And I sits and i wonders where could he be? I he
really with the girlfriend he made up?