An inconcluded life
Ad 2:
2003-11-30 13:44:03 (UTC)

Interview with a new teacher

After being interviewed by the school administration,
the eager teaching prospect finally said:

"Let me see if I've got this right. You want me to go
into that room with all those kids, and fill their every
waking moment with a love for learning. And I'm supposed
to instill a sense of pride in their ethnicity, modify
their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs
of abuse and even censor their t-shirt messages and dress

You want me to wage a war on drugs and sexually
transmitted diseases, heck their backpacks for weapons of
mass destruction, and raise their self esteem. You want me
to teach them patriotism, good citizenship, sportsmanship,
fair play, how to register to vote, how to balance a
checkbook, and how to apply for a job. I am to check their
heads for lice, maintain a safe environment, recognize
signs of anti-social behavior, offer advice, write letters
of recommendation for student employment and scholarships,
encourage respect for the cultural diversity of others,
and oh, make sure that I give the girls in my class fifty
percent of my attention.

My contract requires me to work on my own time after
school, evenings and weekends grading papers. Also, I must
spend my summer vacation at my own expense working toward
advance certification and a Masters degree. And on my own
time you want me to attend committee and faculty meetings,
PTA meetings,and participate in staff development

I am to be a paragon of virtue, larger than life, such
that my very presence will awe my students into being
obedient and respectful of authority. And I am to pledge
allegiance to family values and this current

You want me to incorporate technology into the learning
experience, monitor web sites, and relate personally with
each student. That includes deciding who might be
potentially dangerous and/or liable to commit a crime in

I am to make sure all students pass the mandatory state
exams, even those who don't come to school regularly
or complete any of their assignments. Plus, I am to make
sure that all of the students with handicaps get an equal
education regardless of the extent of their mental or
physical handicap. And I am to ommunicate regularly with
the parents by letter, telephone, newsletter and report

All of this I am to do with just a piece of chalk, a
computer, a few books,a bulletin board, a big smile AND on
a starting salary that qualifies my family for food

You want me to do all of this and yet you expect me...