babybritt_4life

My Crazy Mixed Up World * A Girl In Love
2003-11-28 04:20:56 (UTC)

childhood

Someone asked me what my childhood was like and why I’m so
scared all the time. I looked at them and say, “ you can’t
even imagine the kinda hell I have lived through.” So for
those certain people who want to know what my childhood
was like this is for you. Okay lets say your me.
Everything is good. You’re happy. BAM!!! He walks through
the door with that look in his eyes. You don’t know whats
going on because you only a little girl. Next thing you
know your hiding under you bed. Sometime my mom says to
me “ you can remember this Brittany?” I look at her, laugh
and say, “ How could I forget?” I remember daddy being so
strung out on drugs. Coming to my house at midnight. Do
you want to know why I sleep with my TV, all the blinds
closed and I make sure that no one is in my room every
night? When my daddy hadn’t found away to sneak into my
room at night he was walking around outside my windows
waiting for me to go to sleep. The walls were thin. I
could hear him outside. Sometimes he talked to himself. “
No I can’t do this . . . Shut up! . . . I will get you
just wait” yeah… I loved those nights. Everything a little
girl loves to hear. I was always afraid to be alone with
my dad. He was a child molester. People often ask me if he
ever touched me and I say, “ what business is it of yours”
I can remember one time he took me from my mom. He
wouldn’t give me back. As the car drove away I was crying.
All I wanted to do was go home. Then I remember one time
he chassed me. That was a bad day. Mama called 911 as he
had a hold of her trying to hurt her. Then when he
realized what she was doing he ran out the door and took
her car. At first there were only to policemen at my
house. The next thing I knew I was looking out my window
and my dad was pulling up in the drive way and tons of cop
cars surrounded him. They asked him to get out of the car
and he wouldn’t. When he did get out the had guns held at
his head. I was still at my window watching all of this.
As the were taking him to the car he looked up into the
window and saw me. Our eyes met. I will never forget the
look on his face when we were looking at each other. One
night when he was at my house (It was before he was
arrested) he some how got mama drugged and he knew that
every night she came in and tucked me in. He decided that
he was going to be a father and do it for her. That night
I he told me how he had the devil on his side and that God
was just an alien trying to take over the world. He also
told me about how people were out to get him. And how they
were going to kill him. I remember being scared of him
because at one point he wanted to kill me. All this and
more happened before I turned 11. Then there was always
what happened after. I don’t want to really get into that
right now but I guess this gives those people who just had
to know what my life was like an idea. G2g t2ul

britty




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