Charles Deason

My Blue Sky
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2003-11-26 05:41:53 (UTC)

A New Age

I cannot believe how long its been since I last wrote
here... It has been awhile now! Hmmm, Thanksgiving is only
a couple days away. I can't wait for all that food! I'm
going to starve myself until then. My freinds should be
comming over for it too. Robert is still very skinny and he
needs it more than anyone else. JC well, although he claims
to be on a diet and working out, I haven't seen any
results. He's still fat as always.
I finally seen what Erika looks like. She was very
pretty! Well, I've talked to her a few times on the phone.
Shes an all right girl, and a good friend. Even if she does
lie about a few things and makes wrong choices. I have
still a dark past behind me to live with. I can't stand it
sometimes. I'd rather die than live with guilt and sorrow.
Something amazing happened to me earlier today. I
well... Astrid asked me to be her first... I don't know, I
love her more than anything in the world and now... I told
her that I wanted to try to keep my virginity until I get
married, or at least know I'm getting married. She said
that... If I asked her, she would say.... yes. And knowing
her, I have a strong feeling that she would. Shes never
been in love like this before, and me either. It took us to
a whole new level. And... we've not yet met in person.
I don't think its any big deal that we've never met in
person though. Neiter does she. Um... moving back to what
she said to me, I told her that well, I just said yes I
will. And I said we should just let our bodies and emotions
decide for us. I won't make the same mistakes as my parents
and most other teengers. I accept whatever fate gives me
whether good or bad. I want Astrid to be happy... no not
happy. I want her dreams to come true.
I'm willing to let go of my past and continue on into
the future with the girl of my dreams hand in hand. I've
managed to reach out to so many people this year. And now,
I am becomming a man. I don't care if I don't have the
required intelligence to be with society. I always learn
the hard way. Because thats the basis of what I'm built
upon. I know she is a year younger than me. But... shes
also much more smarter than me haha. So I guess that
balances us out. I... I guess its safe to say we're
thinking about marriage now... I'm so happy I made it this
far in life. I hope and of course pray for our success in
life. Well I better go, I'll have to remember to update
agian sometime. later


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