radeks

Life is But a Dream
2003-11-25 05:06:27 (UTC)

Random Rant

Just something that came into my mind...

On the outside I may seem like a lazy selfish and
sometimes ignorant person...but i dunno i feel like the
opposite of that, i dont do much work physically but i
work hard mentally as odd as it may seem

even though people dont realize it , its true atleast for
me- thinking soooo much hurts, lol it sounds dumb but its
true

thinking causes massive headaches and sometimes i just
cant stop thinking

like today in math- i realized that some people are just
so annoying. ok let me start from the beginning

i used to sit on the other side of the room- the bad
side...and everyone there seemed fun and cool at the time
but now that i sit on the opposite - good side- of the
room i can truly see why my teacher is so annoyed with
us...some kids wont fucking shut up and theyre
talkativeness gives the whole class extra work and thats
just fucked up and i dont blame my teacher i blame the
talkative dumbass fucktards on the other side of the room

and anyway

when my teacher started explaining how to do stuff and was
explaining the notes the dumbass fucktards wouldnt shut up
and i couldnt hear even though the teacher was like 3 feet
away

so due to the noise level of the other side of the room, i
understood the work but suffered from a massive headache
as a result from trying to block out the noise and focus
on what the teacher was saying

and when i started doing my homework, the noise level grew
and its so frustrating. and theres this one whore who i
absolutely hate with a passion that wouldnt sit in her
seat when there was like a minute left before school ended
and so the class had to stay for another minute.

and what i hate most about my headaches is that all the
noise seems to triple and everything is thrice as loud as
it really is and the room starts to spin and i cant put my
head down because then my teachers gonna yell at me to put
my head up and its dumb because there are people who be
talking on their cell phones and listening to their radios
and sleeping and she wont say nothing to them...i guess i
can understand why tho...she wants them to face the
consequences for their own actions, and she knows that i,
unlike some people, actually want to understand the
material and i, unlike some people, want more than a
fucking b in the class.

anyway

i cant even relax after school cuz of the tremendous
amount of homework i get.

and i cant even enjoy music or reading because i get these
fucking headaches and it makes it hard to concentrate on
things

its probably genetics, or stress or maybe both that causes
these headaches...

see thats one thing i actually WANT to learn abour in
science, GENETICS...sure DNA is a part of genetics but i
wanna learn about traits and junk and i wanna learn about
the role genetics has on certain disorders and junk ...i
guess i basically wanna learn about pyschology...i have
read and reread this old pyschology book of sahids...and i
read this pyschology book sahid has its new so it has a
lot more info

pyschology ineterests me, id like to be a pyschologist but
i got enough problems to worry about...i probably need to
see a shrink myself and honestly id like to see a shrink
see whats going on inside my head and see if my behaviors
are "normal"

there's like two kinds of people in this world, those who
show their real self in front of others and those who hide
behind a mask...im the mask type

im hard to figure out, when people think im sad and angry
im actually quite content on the inside and when people
see me as a joyous happy person inside im telling them all
to fuck off...how ironic

ive been noticing peoples faces mroe often, some people
have so many pimples and junk and me- ive been worrying
about like two little things, im becoming self-conscious
which may not be a good thing

but what i hate...when huge, bulky, masive girls wear mini
mini-skirts and tops that are like 10 sizes too small for
them, its like "HELLO WE DO NOT WANNA SEE ALL THAT FAT
ROLLING AROUND AND WE SURE AS HELL WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF
YOU WOULD KEEP THE FATNESS TO YOURSELF!"

Its nasty seeing 200 pounds, 3 feet wide girls dressing in
such a manner...oo and i hate tight tight tight tight
tight jeans, how the hell do the breathe in there and dont
tell me its strechy because that aint no strech pants...oo
and those tight tight tight tight shirts, im surprised the
girls havent died by suffocating , dont the shirts like
cut off blood circulation???

anyway

nuff about that

im tired, and sleepy but im afraid i might drool again.




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