my so called life
2003-11-21 15:02:17 (UTC)

On my mind

Haven't written much lately..
I haven't been feeling well the last week or so, I've had
a fever and a sore throat, and I've been feeling tired and
sick. Last weekend I started coughing a lot and my throat
was really sore, so Ben took me to the emergency ward at
the hospital. I knew I probably had tonsillitis, since
I've had it three or four times before. I got pencillin,
and now, five days later I'm feeling better in my throat,
but I'm still coughing at night.. so much I can't sleep.
So I'm really tired during day and I don't have much
energy. This is so bad timing, since my exams are in less
than two weeks and I should be studying 24/7.
I've got three exams this semester, since one of my
subjects consists of three smaller tests and 9 compulsory
exercises. I've already gotten an A in that subject, so
that's good :)

Things are still good between Ben and me. He's become
really good friends with a lot of girls in his class, and
sometimes I get a bit jealous. I think he really doesn't
understand the line between friends and something more
than that.. I know that he loves me and that I'm the one
he wants to be with, but sometimes I have trouble handling
the fact that he's so flirty. I've tried talking to him
about it, but he doesn't see that he's flirty. He just
asked if he smiled too much, but of course he's allowed to
smile! But the way the girls act it's clear that he hasn't
really drawn the line.. like for instance, we went to his
christmas prom. I met all the girls in his class, and the
all were really nice to me, it wasn't that, but they
just.. I don't know, but you know that some people are
very touchy when the talk to you.. Well, I don't think
that you should touch a guy when his girlfriend is
standing right there.. and this one girl sent a message
when we had left, asking if he was home safe and
stuff, "cause she got a little worried". I think she had
no right to do that! She knew that he was with me and that
we went home together.. I don't know, it's not like I see
her as a threat or anything, but sometimes it bothers me.
Ben just laughs, he doesn't seem to care. Oh well.
Another problem is that I get really moody before my
period. It's because of the pill, I tried changing to
another brand, but that made me put on quite a bit of
weight, so I switched back. I get really moody, and
yesterday I yelled at him for the first time. He hadn't
even done anything, he was just being a little annoying
and I went crazy. I've apologized like a thousand times
and he says it's not a big deal, but I feel terrible. I DO
NOT want to be a bitchy girlfriend! Bah..

Anyway.. It's almost Christmas! I can't wait! :)
I'm not going home till the 19 th since I have my last
exam the 18 th. On my birthday! Buhuu! It's kind of
stupid, I have my first exam the second of December, the
next the sixth and then I don't have my last till the 18
th! Bah :( And I don't get to be with Ben or my family on
my birthday.. Ben has his last exam the 13 th, so he
leaves.. Crap.

Oh well.. I'm gonna go do some laundry, I'm making dinner
with Ben and Kirsty in a while.
Bu-bye now.

Angel : So much to say, I don't know where to begin.
Good luck with everything, and take care!

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