sweetaddiction

there are many things i do that..

there are many things i do that i know i shouldnt.
thinking that maybe if i stay up long enough. things will
begin to make snese.
the hurt will begin to disapate.
and it is...
the times we shared grow further and further from my mind.
the new memories.
new loves.
life experiences.
begin to filter in.
leaving me breathless in waiting.
in anticipation.
for the next one.
the next feeling to be felt
.emotion to be had.
beer to be drank.
drinking is becoming more and more customary.
movies.
laughing.
friends.
how long has it been since i had friends.
and now i do.
and it is in itself, beautiful.
so many people have known me.
shared me.
felt me.
but how many have i felt loved adored respected trusted.
so few in comparison.
and what does that mean?
say?
about me....
complex?
ha.
try.
try to get in.
and i wont let you.
ill rearange my world to fit yours though.
in hopes that maybe.
maybe youre the end to my means.
the beginnning to my victory.
the thing that will make it all okay.
because, so many things are so...so fucking. wrong.

3.