2003-11-17 22:48:44 (UTC)

i feel broken now...

do you want me, like i want you?
do you need me, like i need you?
do you love me, like i love you?
or am i standing still???


i have a lot of dumb shit on my mind today. i have to
write this paper. and i want to print these pictures on my
computer cus im starting a new scrapbook!! i cant wait to
go to indiana i want to go right now. all day i kept
thinking i shoulda pierced my lip saturday night i shoulda
done it. im going to as soon as i get back from indiana.

im making spaghetti for my mom. we were boring today at
work but it went pretty quickly and i had sushi for lunch.
my mom had a fight with one of the workers, and he yelled
at her, and she cried and i was HOT.. i was very upset all
afternoon. she was crying when i had to go back to work
and i was so mad, shes like "he hates me, no ones ever
hated me" and i felt so bad. i wish she'd get a new job
this one stresses her way too much.

matt was there today. but he's gone again til next week
and then im gone for a week.

danelle and i were talking about all kinds of stuf today
she got me going on my spelling rant because she always
asks me how to spell stuf since she knows im a nut about it
and i was talking about how matt sends me all his papers to
fix and how its soo god awfully bad and it drives me up a
wall when people cant fucking spell or know which "there"
to use and i was talking about how i called richard the
other night and when matt called i didnt pick up cus she
asked if he was mad and she was like you know, im getting a
lot of subliminal messages from you saying "I'M OVER HIM"
it was funny.

so that psychology study is for sexually active
individuals. so i guess i have to either start fucking him
again and get help or continue to abstain and continue to
be crazy. thats quite a choice. but i think id rather be

"Moving past plateaus naturally creates a certain amount of
chaos. Embrace it -- if it weren't so, you might think that
you were stuck in a rut. When the dust settles, you'll have
the proof of success you desire."

im really troubled today. im not happy at all.

and i fucking feel lazy. i have to start this paper. and i
have to go to psych tomorrow, i really should.
ugggghhhhhhhhh. im guna take a nap.