megan

listen to my silences
2003-11-15 15:07:35 (UTC)

someday

my body is exhausted. i just cannot get enough sleep. and
this rain isn't helping anything. it just makes me more
tired.

i have to work one to ten service tonight. blah. this
schedule i had to close every night i worked. i hate
closing. i could go in at five in the morning and it
wouldn't bother me near as much as going in at one in the
afternoon does. i mean, the whole day is gone. thursday
night i worked twelve to nine. what kind of crap nonsense
is that? it means that no one was in jewelry from nine to
ten and there was an extra person on the floor from twelve
to one. oh well.

i wonder, if i move out will nick move in? they
practically live together anyway. they're always at one or
the other's house. always. i can hardly even refer to
them as tiffany or nick, i have to call them tiffanyandnick.

i am sure a lot of it is that i'm jealous. but part of it
is that there is no respect. considering what happened in
my apartment bedroom before they even got together, i'm not
exactly comfortable having a guy in it. sometimes i'm
still not comfortable having myself in my own bedroom.

i miss brandon. a lot. i miss sleeping next to him, and
waking up with him next to me. i felt so safe. nothing
could get me, not even me. he spoiled me when we dated.
he was always so good to me. he knew exactly what was
going on and understood everything. differently than
anyone else ever did. a lot of the time when i think of
him i think of this song by nickelback. he said he thinks
of it when he thinks of me too.

SOMEDAY
how the hell'd we wind up like this
why weren't we able
to see the signs that we missed
and try to turn the tables
i wish you'd unclench your fists
and unpack your suitcase
lately there's been too much of this
but don't think it's too late

nothing's wrong
just as long as you know that someday i will
someday somehow
we're gonna make it all right just not right now
i know you're wondering when
you're the only one who knows that
someday somehow
we're gonna make it all right just not right now
i know you're wondering when

i hoped that since we're here anyway
we could end up saying
things we've always needed to say
so we could end up staying
now the story's played out like this
just like a paperback novel
let's rewrite an ending that fits
instead of a hollywood horror

nothing's wrong
just as long as you know that someday i will
someday somehow
we're gonna make it all right but not right now
i know you're wondering when
you're the only one who knows that
someday somehow
we're gonna make it all right but not right now
i know you're wondering when
you're the only one who knows that

how the hell'd we wind up like this
why weren't we able
to see the signs that we missed
and try to turn the tables
now the story's played out like this
just like a paperback novel
let's rewrite an ending that fits
instead of a hollywood horror

nothing's wrong
just as long as you know that someday i will
someday somehow
we're gonna make it all right but not right now
i know you're wondering when
you're the only one who knows that
someday somehow
we're gonna make it all right but not right now
i know you're wondering when
you're the only one who knows that
i know you're wondering when
you're the only one who knows that
i know you're wondering when

it's become one of my favorite songs. despite everything,
there's still something. and everyone can call me stupid,
but i do still love him and i do miss him and i do want to
be with him.

stupid girl
stupid girl

amazing how songs affect us.

final thought: boysarestupidthrowrocksatthem.




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