taking heed

slightly exaggerated
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2003-11-14 05:22:31 (UTC)

sex and presentations: the diametrically opposed facets of that which is "oral"

Today, under duress, I had to perform the number one task
on my 'top ten list of things that illict anxiety', the
oral presentation, or I affectinately refer to them as, aww
fuck.

So there I sit, in class, the minutes tick, the professor
talks, "There will be six presentations today," he says as
he begins to list off the names in order of
appearance, "5th, Derrick," as my name leaves his mouth a
shiver erupts throughout my body, the end is near.

"Presentations in earlier classes never took this fucking
long". One of the predominant thoughts as my predecessor's
presentations leech ahead at a pace too unbearable to
describe.

"Ok, next up, Derrick" - Let the debauchery of my peaceful
inner equalibrium begin.

The whole thing was an anxious haze. I can't be sure of
what happened exactly. But the blood stains on my clothes
and bits of flesh underneath my finger nails suggest it got
ugly ... well, it could be true.

The moral of the story is this. The next time someone makes
you present something of the oral variety, run. Run and for
fuck sakes Jacob, don't look back!


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