Visions Of Life
Ad 2:
2003-11-13 20:04:31 (UTC)


Life is too chaotic. I just want to curl into a ball and
vanish forever.

Well, first the good news. I have one of the top 3 grades
in my psychology class so I do not have to take the final
and I only have to go to class next week and then I am
through. One less thing to worry about.

My 60 page research paper is going alright. I am worried
about the presentation tho. It is so hard to get any school
work done. Im amazed I am still doing decent. At least the
lowest possible GPA I could get on my report card is a 3.0
and thats if I bomb my government and econ finals which I
wont do.

I had my 4 spinal injections on tuesday. I thought that
would stop my pain but so far it hasnt. In fact I spent the
last two days feverish and nauseated and my pain is worse.
I live with a level 6-8 pain in my back constantly and
nothing I do will make it go away. I cant sleep. I cant
sit. I cant lay down. Doing homework has been impossible
lately. The IV sedatives are still making me tired. Ive
been going to bed by 8pm. I wish I could see my doctor now
but have to wait until wed. I am so afraid that this pain
will never go away. It just isnt fair. I was not at fault
and yet I am the one suffering, not the bitch who hit me.
She didnt have any injuries.

Home life is tense. I just want to give up on everything. I
want to see a therapist but I doubt I have time because of
all the doctors I already am seeing. I started cutting
again. Just one night so far but want to continue. I have
no other way to deal with things. I shouldnt feel this way.
I know its mainly situational but it is too much for one
person to handle alone.

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