My world.. take a peek
2003-11-11 03:50:40 (UTC)

Saying hello to an old friend

Nice to see you again..
Actually its nice to have found this link stowed away in my
favorite files on my computer. Reading my old entries and
realizing how long its been since I have written sorta
makes me laugh at how typical that is of me.
Its just like me to tell myself I need some organization in
my life, and I usually go out and buy an organizer,
planner, or even start a diary. Then in a few days I
realize that I just cant do it, I want organization and
structure- Im just to Goddamned lazy to keep it up. I have
two sides. side 1) I want organization, I want to wear a
watch, I want purpose, I know all my goals in life and I
will move heaven and earth to achieve them. side 2) i am so
overwhelmed with life that I dont want to wear a watch, I
dont want to grow up so fast, I want to be spontaneous and
not worry about tomorrow or next week. I think we all have
those feelings. Im still unsatisfied with where I am right
now, but I know that everything will fall in place soon.
Things have fallen in place already since the last time I
wrote. Ive left out so much that has happened.. I dont
really think it would do anygood to recap, its much easier
to start now and try to cover new ground. Maybe this time I
will write my diary, maybe this once I can keep it up and
feel great because I did. WEll my birthday is in 9 days! 9
days until I become an adult.. this is what I have looked
forward to all my teenage life, yet part of me doesnt want
it. I feel like an old soul, I know that with my age comes
yet more reasons not to be able to have the childhood I
missed many years ago. But maybe this could be a new
beginning.. I know, everyone says its just another year. I
hate how people take the magic out of everything! Sometimes
I just like to enjoy the simple things in life.. like
baking chocolate chip cookies for someone I love, or
getting excited over things that others think are stupid,
or even blushing at the worst times. Who cares if we wont
have the perfect fairy-tale life, Im sure no one does.. but
there's nothing wrong with dreaming. And as of now I
believe I should put a pause on all my scattered thoughts
for tonight and do just that- dream. Goodnight all,
sweetdreams ;)

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