2003-11-08 21:50:49 (UTC)


leave it to him.

i had such a good day. i was in a good mood in spite of my
cramps which werent even as bad as yesterday the whole
time. i loved spending all that time with her and working
and i was pretty happy, we had lunch after work and i got
home with time to sleep and no one home.

so he wakes me up. problem #1. i havent gotten nearly
enough sleep this week and i was very happy to be asleep.
but. the second he speaks, i get the feeling he knows
about her working there. because his tone is completely
different than when he called me an hour ago and said "can
we go to st pete tomorrow". now suddenly hes being a total

it crossed my mind that he made it up just so i wouldnt go
which is nasty but i'd prefer that i think.

"we cant go tomorrow i'll be with my family until 4 or 5."
oh well okay let me go back to sleep.
"we're going to brunch and the art show for my moms
Oh festival of the masters, i wanted to go to that let me
go back to sleep.
"well i'd invite you but my sister's bringing HER
girlfriend so."

exactly why this made me start crying i dont know. i
pretty much just hung up on him and once it starts it
doesnt stop.. i guess now it will surely come up in
conversation and if he doesnt already know he will and i
have a feeling we'll be more than over then. which at the
moment scares me more than i'll admit i guess. but thats
not it.

i guess i just dont think about things like this. not even
so much the fact that im always the one to go with the
family places like this.. but something about that fucking
whore cunt slut nasty bitch spending the day with them
all. i dont think about them doing stuf like that. i
think about her getting mad and being lazy and being a
general pain in the ass but not going out with MY girl and
MY family. i know its not MY family anymore than shes
really MY girl but its just. its just that i cant stop
crying and im so angry now and in one minute he fucking
ruined my whole day.