psychomagnet

im not bitter, i dont give a fuck.

wow im tired. i worked like 11 hours today. its nice when
you leave the house before the sun comes up and leave work
when its going down. and i cut my hands all up doing this
shit all day.

no way will i get to go to atlanta this weekend. i have to
go in tomorrow after class and probably thursday and
saturday. maybe the weekend after next.

so i guess its okay that she fucked that up. i cant
believe some of the shit she said in her stupid little
diary. i guess i know some people hate me, but its
surprising to read mean things people think about you. it
was really getting to me last night especially when she
starts even GOING THERE with my ashley, but then i thought
why do i fucking care. she doesnt know me. and being
judged for 1. the caroline thing, still being in love with
someone, by someone who spends all her time talking about
someone who she never had anything more than a friendship
with let alone ever been in love, and being judged for
2. "feeling sorry for myself" by someone who posts her
public diary on her profile and then talks about personal
private shit that happened to her when she was a kid,
fucking grow up you cunt. FUCK people make me so angry.

"Your ears might be too small to hear what a loved one has
to say, but your soul is big enough. Listen without the
pressure of having to judge. Tonight, the song of the
universe is coursing through your veins."

so this guy eric is really driving me nuts. its okay that
matt likes me cus hes sweet and shy and quiet so he doesnt
piss me off but this guy always touches me and is like when
are we guna go out and calling me baby and cutie and shit
and i want to punch him in his stupid face.

i had too much time to think today, some days are better
than others and today i just wanted to call her all day. i
wish shed hurry up and kick the bitch to the curb. im
tired of this. it was a real bad day as far as that goes.

i have a big test tomorrow. and then i have to go to work
probably work late again and im so tired.

i feel a lot better now i took a hot bath in the dark and
just laid there and soaked in baby oil and relaxed a little
bit. i love how my hair feels now its so soft and short.
and i even shaved. so i feel better now. like going to
bed.