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2003-10-31 06:52:18 (UTC)

and how much time has passed..

and how much time has passed
since i wrote in here last?

and what exactly has happened within that span

can i say i am older?

mostly i would have to say no

but i can say, damn. i did my best, and i gave my all.

sitting in an apartment. where i now live.
with three roomates.
listening to the same ani song on repeat.

drinking beer...

wearing clothes that were given to me.
by someone i hadnt even met last time i wrote.

im a junior.
and i live in tampa.

one thing however is still present.
although i would never say constant.

emily stopped by about an hour ago and left about ten
minutes ago.

and maybe it is that that has sent me back to this place
that i was so long ago and i swore i would never come back
to again.

i am all but prepared to say that i am dependant.

and i do my damnest to cut off anything that would prove

my eyes are burning.
knotted and liquid, my stomach turns over and over itself.
as if it just wants me to break.
break me.
come on try it.
because you know i no longer
fit perfectly inside you.
my hands are no longer meant to be held by yours.
and i feel almost scarred by the flesh you embedded inside
me tonight.
it burns.
im showing the signs no matter how much i try
to cover the past.
sheild my present by a layer of dust
and it grows thicker and thicker still
but somehow forty five mintues
leaves me back at square one.