psychomagnet

im as down as any thug.

baby say yeah...

well. that was fun. it was some scary shit.. but it was
fun. at first i was so drunk i wasnt scared but then we
went in this one with michael myers i think his name is and
jason and freddy and all kinds of SCARY SHIT and i thought
i was going to die... but they do a good job at it, i
definetely want to work it next year.

not too excited about going back tomorrow, but he's paying
and i saw the cutest shirt i want but it was $25 so i'll
let him get me that. of course he may be so mad that i
left my phone in the car and missed his 25 phone calls and
im choppin off all my hair... so maybe i can miss it.

well im dropping english against my better judgement. it's
the last day friday and the bitch is not going to give me
higher than a C... i will not get a C ever. so. it was a
waste of time and money and it'll set me back a little bit
but it's worth it. i've made a decision, for once.

i really need to get up and go to psych tomorrow though. i
have a test tuesday and i need to go. i dont know if i
will and im sure ill do fine if i dont but i should.

my mom got me the coolest thing, they're half of lemon
shells with this lemon ice cream shit in em. its so
fucking good.

work kinda blew today, because the morning kicked ass and
we got so much done and we were guna do regulatories, stop
signs, yield signs and shit which are interesting because
its many steps and many layers.... then i got in trouble,
sort of on behalf of danielle, this afternoon... not
trouble but mike wasnt happy with me and it was the first
time and i felt bad because i hated to disappoint him and
it wasnt really my fault, i was told i was doing the right
thing, so that upset me..

then we had a fight which we dont have much anymore,
because last night i told him, i wont have time to meet you
at the mall after work but you can come have lunch with me,
so when i call, motherfucker took the battery out his
car???? i dont know sometimes.. and hes like but i'll see
you at the mall... im like bitch do you even listen when i
speak i said i dont have time. then i felt bad cus i
really am mean to him sometimes, not that he doesnt
probably deserve it but. hes just in a different place
than me right now, like roles have switched. and i dont
like this much better. it makes me feel bad.

crossed my mind tonight that maybe i may as well make more
effort with us, since i have no interest or energy in
pursuing anything new... i dont know. i dont know how he
did it all that time, cus i feel like shit being the one
off doing my own thing knowing hes unhappy and wanting to
be with me. i mean, he was off all this week and ive only
hung out with him for one afternoon... i dont know. im
just not feeling it. but maybe i should try... while my
girl is too busy digging herself out of her own grave or
whatever the fuck...

poor work-matt. hes so uncomfortable and nervous around
me, i see what ashley was saying now and i just.. nothin.
of course its nice to be adored but i feel nothing.

i love sebastien so much right now, even though he can get
out of control at times.. at some times i feel so close to
certain people.

and at some times i DONT... which. whatever. im not going
to say i dont care. its too bad about that. but i should
remember to keep with my gut feeling on people and remember
why it is that i have so few close friends and dont trust
anyone.

cutting it off tomorrow. im excited. ive wanted to do
this for so long, i know i might regret it from time to
time but i always regret letting it grow so whats the
difference. and my girl likes it short haha.

my feet are killing me. i just want to sleep sleep sleep.
maybe i'll miss class and read my psych book in bed. that
man never teaches us anything anyway.

"Theres a point in life where you realize who matters, who
never did, and who always will."