tbqb12

my stupid mouth
2003-10-28 03:46:53 (UTC)

i'd rather live in his world than live without him in mine

i think i already used this as a title way back when, but
oh well. i like that song. "midnight train to georgia."
i don't know; i certainly wish i was sleeping on a midnight
train to georgia. why georgia, you ask? (hehe) it's far
from here, and that's all that matters. why does it feel
like everything's slipping away from me? the funny thing
is that i'm doing a better job of hiding everything that's
wrong while i'm at school or work. then when i get home i
can see all of my problems magnified by a million. it's so
depressing...so i pretend they're not there. that's how i
deal with things; i ignore the bad. i can;'t say that it's
worked for me thus far, but it's a heck of a lot easier
than dealing with it all. i find that if i focus on the
things that i enjoy about school (my friends, study with
jeff and nick, football, stat class, extracurriculars),
then i don't have to concentrate on the things that make me
miserable. i am so happy that in about 10 months i won't
have to deal with this bad stuff. and if i pay for college
myself, i can sever all ties with everything that reminds
me of my problems. that will be the biggest relief of my
life.

i find that i can't even concentrate on thoughts of jeff,
which, even though it sounds dumb, used to offer me at
least a slight amount of comfort and that nice sort of
butterflies-in-the-stomach feeling. it's probably good
that i don't waste my time on thoe thoughts, though. at
least i don't have as much time to over-analyze as i used
to. plus, i sort of like where i am with him right now.
the whole friendship thing is pretty good; it's something
more than what i had last year anyway. it's fun; i'm
comfortable around him; i can talk to him without being
nervous even in the slightest. so, now i feel like i've
addressed what taryn asked me on friday. analyzation
#4448865723019 complete.




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