Sara9870

Sara
2003-10-27 05:00:23 (UTC)

blackbird

BLACKBIRD- the beatles

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free.

Blackbird fly Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird fly Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise.

i cant really say why i need this here. there was a guy
with a guitar singing it on the ponte vecchio that last
night in florence and it made me tear up. i heard it a few
times sinse then and it feels different to me now. i hope
this feeling remains. i feel like if i can hold onto this
feeling i can push myself up to somewhere higher, safer
then i was before.

i really think if i didnt go to italy when i did i would be
a degenerative wreck right now. i was spiraling down before
if i remember correctly. i should give myself more credit
tho, because i didnt WANT to spiral down. i know who i am,
and i want to be her. or try my hardest.

and regardless of the doubts i have about marco, he has
helped me with this thing that is my mind, and i dont think
he knows how much. he sometimes says these small little
sentences that resonate through me and put me at ease. "you
dont need to make a mountain out of an antill about
eveything" something like that, and just that quieted my
mind of a chaotic rush it was beginning to have.
iris was talking about her new man, listing all these
things about him and it made me a little paranoid for a few
minutes, that i was being stupid and what am i doing and
blah but then i took a step back and thought, i am not
iris, and really all m. has done so far is make me feel
good , make me feel happy, calm me down, make me think,
give me something to look forward to, make me laugh, make
me feel genuine warmth and love, make me feel like a
person, a girl,
i could go on, just all good things. and that just cant be
wrong or bad or stupid and i am not an idiot.

anyway i love this song, all of it, light of the dark black
night.... youd think dark black night is a bad thing,
abyss, scary... i know i have lots of dark black night...
in me... the future... its so nice to hear light associated
with it.....


something totally unrelated:
i was looking through one of my old journals today (i keep
a written jounral as well... which is very differet from
this.. i dont really know how to explain... ) but i
sounded so smart in that journal, this rushed, frantic,
philosophical musings... and i dont want to lose that, that
ability to put complicated thouhts into words... so i
decided i have to make sure to keep reading collegey books
even tho i am not in college anymore... maybe once a
month. pretend i still have to read for class,,,, i want to
keep my mind sharp....

ok now its really time for sleep.................




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