pensive problematic

a thought in the mind of her
2003-10-27 03:03:35 (UTC)

written: beginning of october

My eyes have been really bothering me & i can't see
straight
i felt very alone not too long ago. i donm't do much
about it
i guess you can say that i've changed a bit but really i
haven't, not on the inside anyway. inside meaning mind,
beliefs, feelings, not organs & hemaglobin counts
or anything like that.
its just kind of funny how you can look at a situation
& frak out about it, but when you actually are FORCED to
deal with it the next day, it's not really that bad anymore
If we could only keep that in mind when freaking out about
things.
and ever say you're fine beacuse "you know what fine means"
..."Freaked out," 'Insecure,' "Nurotic," & 'Emotional.'
makes sense. anyone who says their fine, you know they're
full of crap. their hidding something: whats really going
on inside their mind.
i haven't ben able to write my stuff lately, so i just
thought maybe this would help. open my mind to the pen &
paper again. thats how i used to deal with everything. now
its just kinda locked up in my brain & no one can find the
key. i know i put it somewhere, i just can't figure out
where. or is there even a key? guess it wouldn't matte. if
i knock persistantly & consistantly maybe it will let me
in or if not me in, maybe it will come out. i am missing
it very much as you can see, that was almost my sanity.
things will get better though, they always do...eventually.




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