nin137

Nick's Journal
2003-10-26 20:46:57 (UTC)

Dignity and self-respect

see we all think that we are the masters of these two
aspects of our life but really they are just crass
illusions. let me give you examples from my very own
life.
see at juliann's brother's wedding (phew that was long-
winded) i got a little bit plastered. while there her
father's long-time friend decided to engage me in
conversation. you see that's just wrong cos there's no
fucking way i can string together sentences after 5
glasses of wine and way too many sierra nevada's. anyhow
he asked me the simple question of, "i heard you were an
intern last summer, where did you work?" to which i
replied literally,
"tamson aslj bratch!!!!"
what i meant to say was, "the law offices of thompson and
mcmullan"... however it came out as an ineffable slur of
drunken syllables. of course trying to pick up the shred
of normality i had left i tried to say it again, and i
said this,
"tamslnon braaaaaaaatch!!"
you see when you fuck up twice in a row it's shame on
you. from there on i candidly excused myself and told
them that i was going to pick up my dignity from the bar
(which is where i had left it earlier when one of the
random guests asked me to simply ballpark the month and
year i was born in). on the way i left my self-respect
with them and asked them to hold it for me.
you see i'm sure many of us college students have been in
the position of, "being fucked out of our godddamn minds
on drugs and alcohol", and i'm here to say that's ok if
you lose your dignity and self-respect some of the
time....or in my case most of the time.
like for example, i once saw this asian guy completely
wasted and he left all of his dignity in the basement of
that frat house. basically he accosted a girl, she punted
his balls to the second floor and he kept on trying to get
with her. it was really sad, i'm actually quite glad that
i'm too timid (even when drunk) to ask girls if they think
that my penis rivals the titanic in size and dexterity.
shit i sometimes have the notion of showing girls how i
can make my penis into a completely prehensile limb by
swinging from tree to tree with it, but i am somewhat
chaste.
yet even with all of my chaste demeanor and taciturn
inclinations i manage to careen down a brick wall onto a
bike rack, get kicked out of EVERY SINGLE ONE of the
fraternities i've been to (mainly thanks to my even more
inconspicuous drunk friends), and oh yeah....completely
put my self in the situation of having to pick up my
dignity and self-respect with my anus at the table
adjacent from me. see how that goes is that i try to be
social.......fuck it up horrible ("hi, i'm black.....uh i
mean nick")...meander away...then come back and
obsequously chuckle it off.
so if you've ever been drunk and given your two most
prized positions just remember that i've been selling it
short!!! ahahahahahaha!!!! sorry...finance joke.




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