Katarsa

The Art of Lament
2003-10-26 03:57:04 (UTC)

Love sick . Jr. high thing.

Love. Why must it hurt so much? You don’t realize you love
someone until they’re away from you. It’s a dear shame,
I’ll tell you. Mayhap I didn’t love him. Mayhap I just
really like him. Who knows? I sure don’t. I think… yes, I
know, that I could have bared it if he hadn’t thanked me
for it. He thanked me. I can only say those words in
disgust. His AIM profile says, “Thanks for what you did at
the dance Kat!!” Those words… they pain me. I did it. I
knew I would regret it dearly. Only… I didn’t know I’d
regret it as much as I really do. I came home. Well, to
Ashley’s, and cried. I couldn’t even tell my best friend
until I’d had an hour to think. I’d been crushing on him
horribly. I was about to ask him to dance… But no-ooooh.
Although… I’m not mad. No, not mad. Well yes, I’m mad at
myself. I wanted to make him happy… But not by hooking him
up. Yes, by hooking him up. Sorry, if this seems confusing
and all, but I’m just blurting everything on my mind about
it until I can sort it all out. Thank goodness I can type
fast. Thanks. I’ll just never get over it. Anyway, he is so
incredibly happy with her. It makes me sad and happy at the
same time. I would’ve bared it if he hadn’t said thanks.
No… even if he had said thanks, if I didn’t have to watch.
If I didn’t have to watch him and her dance… Slow dance…
Low dance… Duncan (my unlucky companion) just sat and
watched Carissa, Napoleon, him, and her all dance. Slow
dance… Low dance…I wanted him to be happy, really happy.
And I wanted him to be with his crush. But I didn’t realize
that I’d care so much. I mean, who would’ve predicted that?
Ahh, these are all just trivial Jr. high matters. They
won’t interest you. But they might. Here I go again, a
whole train of incomplete thoughts and typos. I knew she
wouldn’t care. Ashley I mean, not his girlfriend.
Girlfriend. My fault. Slow dance. Low dance. Thanks.
Regret. Cried. Dance. Duncan. Shame. Thanks.
Love. Why must it hurt so much? You don’t realize you love
someone until he’s gone. Take it from me.




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