I've discovered that Adam Sandler's character in the
beginning of The Wedding Singer was right. Love stinks.
Jessica knows how I feel about her. She knows I would do
damn near anything for her. I love that girl like life
However, despite my best efforts to get her attention, she
likes ERIC! He sounds like a good guy--he turned her down
for a dance once because she and his friend had broken up
semi-recently, and he thought he might be in some way
betraying his friend by going with her. I don't agree
with Marc being such a jackass about the whole thing, but
I have to give kudos for Eric there. Not many guys would
ditch the girl they like out of loyalty to their friend.
Unfortunately, he wouldn't do that anymore. I'm told that
he's horribly pussy-whipped to his current girlfriend, and
that she's a total bitch. Of course, this is coming from
Jessica. I love her, but she has been known to exaggerate
to make her seem like the victim. One needs only to learn
a portion of her "relationship" with Brad to learn that.
Anyway, getting to my point. I love her. But she wants
that guy over there. And he likes somebody else. We just
can't win. And so it goes until the day we die. This
thing they call love is going to make us cry (I hate you).
Sorry, but once it started, I just couldn't stop.
Seriously, though, I do love her. And she does want him,
and so on, exactly as I described it. It's really kind of
scary how well that verse matches my situation.
Last night, though, we were talking, and she again started
talking about Eric. This didn't help my demeanor any.
Every time we're talking, and she brings up the subject of
guys she likes; not only does it make me feel like so much
shit, but it brutally drives home that I have once again
fallen in love with a girl whom I know I cannot be with.
There is no worse feeling in the world than sitting right
next to the person you love and knowing you cannot be with
Anyway, she started talking about Eric, and eventually got
to the point of saying "he's always been there for me.
Aside from Valerie and my Grandpa, he's the only one I can
That's just great! So what the fuck am I, chopped fucking
liver? Hell, I'd probably give up one of my testicles if
she needed it or if it would make possible something she
needed. And yet, ERIC'S always been there for her! I am
quickly losing patience yet again with this whole fucking
game! I'm sick of the bull shit that I'm always
inevitably put through, wether by myself or the girl I'm
She tells me that she loves me, too; but that she's just
not ready for a relationship with me. I'm willing to
listen, and I don't really doubt her, but I don't know
that I'll have the patience to wait.
I don't know. I've said it before, I'll say it again, the
sooner I get out of this Hell Hole (Utah), the better.
Hell, I don't even really need to get out anymore, since
I've got my own place. I just need to find a girl who I
can actually be with in a serious relationship between us
two, rather than just a make-out buddy or going for the
girl who's interested in someone else.