Angel

DayDream Believer
2003-10-23 09:15:00 (UTC)

I went to see him

On the buss I got really tred, of courset was the sleeping
pills. I had just came to town when i recived sevral
messages from Tommy. "You sent me a song, so now Im gonna
snd you one of my fabortes, plse no questions" Then I got
three messages with the lyrcs to Im not a girl, not yet a
woman.
It made me cry even more, what did this mean?
Usally when I send a song ts bacuse the lyrics fit in, so
did this mean that he feelt he was a girl? that he way gay?
or that he needed some time alone?
Its a bt funny to think of now that I might have been
dating a tranvetitt, but swear it was nothing funny with
it then.

I told him that I had come to town to see him, and if he
didnt wanted wisit then?...no answer.
I had to wait for a bus to there he lives, I was crying and
my body started to shake!!!
I feelt so stupid, people around must have thought I was
addicted to drugs or anything. Im never, ever going out
afther four sleeping pills agen, never!!

When I came to his place it was dark, I knocked on the
door, nothing. I have my own key so I opend it, and he
wassnt there!
I cryed even more, the I called him and he answerd, I askd
where he was, near by, he was comming, and asked why I was
crying?
When he came I was still crying, he asked why (stupid
question, h had brooke my heart) and told me to stop. He
wassnt like comforting or anyhing.
Afther a while I said that I knew he had nothing to say so
I was gonna say some things. I told him that I loved him,
and that he could have choosen a better way bo break up
with me then this, it would me okey with me, and much
better if he just have said so face to face.
He didnt say much, I maigh have said some more things, then
I went out in the hall, took on my jacket and shooes, took
the key out of my keystring and went in and gave it to him.
Then I stood in the door, hoping he was gonna say
something, anything!
He was all quiet and I asked if he wassnt gonna say
something?
He said not if you are leaving, so I went in to the
livingroom and sat down next to him on the sofa, he haddnt
moved since he came in.
I dodnt remember much, my eyes was falling all the time and
I was so tired. I dont think I would have stayed if it
wassnt for the sleeping pills. But I did, and
now "everythings back to normal". No not exactley, but Ill
tell you all about that later.
But we didnt break up, and I was the one who had to come to
him agen. I hate myself for doing that, lovng him so much
that I`ll do anything for him, but thats a nother entry.

Angel




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