psychomagnet

sleeptodreamher
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2003-10-22 23:14:06 (UTC)

shes 19 going on 30, or maybe shes really 30 now, its hard to say..

its hard to keep up with time once its on its way...

yeah. every time i listen to ani, im all "why dont i
listen to her every single day!!" its like when i eat
sushi or have sex. i think "i should do this every day."

poor work-matt. i know danielle and him talk about me now,
thats what i thought cus shes always all, i dont know,
cheering for him or something. making little comments and
stuf. and today shes all "Soooo what are you doing friday
night" and im like "um going to rocky with some friends"
and shes like "oh? like a group? matts going right?" and i
was like yeah i think and then later hes like "I dont want
to intrude on you and your friends friday" and i was
like "no its fine really its for my birthday its just a
couple people" and hes like oh okay but im really shy and
he was all disappointed cus i didnt tell him it was other
people. oh well. maybe it'll give him a clue that he
doesnt have a chance.

haha we were talking about my friends and whos going cus
hes all shy and i said something like "there'll be one
straight girl there" and hes like "besides you?" and i
laughed and hes like "you ARE straight, right?" and then i
pretended to drop a polymer because i'm not really thinking
i want to be out at this job. plus he already knows about
matt and its just so confusing to try to explain.


so i didnt get him anything. not after last night. and i
was thinking a little bit about it today. and its not like
im surprised. last night i was insane but i dont think it
was because of him so much. and i was thinking about how i
didnt expect any better and how its all falling apart
anyway and i just. eh.

i think tomorrows guna be my last day... friday i want to
go out early on and get some sushi and play some pool
before rocky so im guna quit tomorrow. oh well.

i went to the bookstore tonight and bought some books.
hahaha spending money like i got it. but i got the bell
jar -since katie cunt still has mine- and a really good
psych book, whispers the voices of paranoia. i want to go
see that sylvia plath movie.

i have a paper to finish and i need to get to bed and take
a shower and move stuf around and ugghhh not enough hours.


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